Depressed Omega (Todobakudeku)

A long needed talk

Today is saturday and finally I can chill a bit. My heat is finally over, it lasted 2 days longer than expected, damn alpha pheromones. I've been avoiding Kacchan the whole week and it's really exhausting. Not like I have much energy anyways. I would like to lay in bed the whole day.

I also thought a lot about what happened on monday and well Todoroki-kun. I think I started to have a crush on him. But it doesn't matter anyways he would never want me. I'm an useless omega, I probably have depression, not diagnosed but I'm not stupid, I can't even use my quirk and on top I lied to him since the start of UA. So no way he would like me the same way.

Aizawa and Yamada still didn't kick me out and I'm relieved, but I'm sure one day they will tell me to leave. Maybe I should just go so my disappointment won't be that big. I wait till the sports festival.

"Izuku would you please come down for a second!" I hear Aizawa yell. I wonder what he wants from me. Maybe he wants to talk me into eating breakfast. I told him already I'm not hungry.

"What do you need Aizawa-Sensei? If you try to get me to eat again, I already said I do-...." I walked up to Aizawa to see we have a guest. It couldn't get worse. I did so well this week and now this. Life really hates me. Kacchan is standing in the livingroom besides Aizawa.

"We need to talk Deku." He says with an angry face.

Aizawa sighs. "I think it's really time for you to talk to him. Espacially since he found out my adress and that you're here. Go to your room and talk." Great it couldn't go better. I nod and walk back to my room, followed by Kacchan. I sit down on the bed and he closes the door behind us. He pulls up the chair and sits infront of me.

"S-So umm w-what do you want K-Kacchan?"

"Really? You ask me what I want? You've been avoiding me the whole week!! I want a lot of answears Deku. Like why are you living with our teacher? What is wrong with aunt Inko? What was that thing on saturday?"

"S-Slow down please. I can't answear all at once. Umm to be honest I-I can't remember what happened on saturday. I-I only remember you carrying me to y-your house after t-the USJ attack, than I woke up here. S-Sorry but I forget what happens in my heat almost everytime. Espacially the days when my heat is strongest. I-I only know from Y-Yamada t-that we k-k-kissed. D-Did we d-do a-anything e-else?"

He stays quiet for a while. Oh no did we do something?! Oh shit he's angry with me! I shouldn't have lost my surpressents that day.

"Hell no!! As if I would do anything like that with you! Disgusting. Do you really thing I have such low self-control?! You just kissed me! And later I kissed you, but only to get you out of my house and your heat running brain would only listen if I did something like that."

I nod. "Thanks Kacchan for telling me." And not taking my heat to your advantage. If I say that loud he will only yell at me. "Umm for your other questions...d-do I really have to answear them? I-I don't really want to talk about it."

"Well I don't care. I want answears and don't go into a panick attack again."

I look down at the floor. I don't wanna look at him. Damn I can already feel the tears welling up in my eyes. Maybe I can get away with only a part of it. "I-I won't. M-My parents kicked me out and Aizawa-Sensei allowes me to stay for now."

"Why would they kick you out? Espacially Inko, she always pampered you."

"W-Well I disappointed them really bad. Please can we stop this." Now I'm crying. Head still low, so Kacchan maybe won't notice my tears. Just thinking about it hurts so damn much.

"No I want to know why. Speak up nerd."

"Why?! Why do you care!?"

"Tch I don't care about you. I just wanna know what else you kept secret from me."

"WHY?! I CAN'T SEE WHY IT CONCERNS YOU!! JUST ADMIT THAT YOU WANT TO MAKE FUN OF ME!! I'M SORRY BUT I DIDN'T HAD SUCH A HAPPY LIFE LIKE YOU HAVE OR LIKE EVERYONE THINKS I HAVE. I HATE MY LIFE SO DAMN MUCH, I DON'T KNOW HOW OFTEN I THOUGHT ABOUT ENDING IT. I FINALLY HAVE A BIT OF LUCK AND YOU CAN'T LET ME HAVE IT. WHY DO YOU ALWAYS WANT TO RUIN MY ONLY ESCAPE FROM THIS MISSERY CALLED LIFE?! WHY DO YOU HATE ME SO DAMN MUCH?! I ALWAYS LOOKED UP TO YOU AND JUST WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH YOU BUT YOU JUST HATE ME AND TAKE YOUR PART IN MAKING MY LIFE BAD." I snap at him. I know there is not really a reason for me to snap like that at him, but maybe all of that had to get out and honestly it's the truth.

I look Kacchan directly in the eyes full crying. He looks just shocked. He probably would have never thought I would snap at him like that.

"Deku-..." He wants to speak but I cut him off. I can't anymore.

"NO I DON'T WANNA HEAR ANYTHING YOU HAVE TO SAY. I-I CAN'T ANYMORE. I-I just can't." I get quiet at the end. And it's the truth. I don't want to feel like this anymore. So I just start to run. Run out of my room, run out of the house and just run.

I can hear footsteps and yelling behind me at first, but I soon manage to get away from them. At least something All Mights training was good for.

I keep runing untill I can't anymore. When I stop I notice I'm in a park. I often played here with Kacchan when we were kids. We had so much fun back then, but now it's just sad. I keep on walking around. If I stay to long at the same place they will find me. I walk absentmindly for around an hour until I come to an halt.

I stand on a verry high bridge. Underneath it flows a river, but it's the kind of river that goes really fast and you could die if you fall in it. That plus the hight of the bridge would be enough to kill me, right? I go on the other side of the railing, but still hold on to it.

//Should I really end it? Would anybody even notice? What reason do I have to still live? None. I should put everyone on ease and just end it here. I hate it, I hate my life. I hate everything. It would be so much easier if I just do it. At least you can be happy now, Kacchan.//

I close my eyes and let go.