Checkmate (ShinDeku)

Bonus

I didn't know where else to put this but here's a mini ShinDeku story responding to the @BisexualCricket  prompt. 

This is not in the same universe as the actual storyline. It's just a little bonus thing. Just a heads up it's kinda angsty.  I hope you like it!

Crumpled leaves twirled through the air like falling dancers, coating the dying grass is beautiful shades of brown.  The fall had taken its toll. None of the green had been left to survive. He found it oddly fitting in a way. Perhaps there was more pain in leaving that that is beautiful than that that is already wilted. 

He watched in involuntarily silence as his love approached. 

Izuku's movements were cautious, stepping so lightly his footsteps barely made a sound. As if he were to exhale too harshly, the peace of their meeting place would be ruined. 

Perhaps it would be. 

Their connection was a delicate balance, something that was destined to break no matter what they did.

Things were never easy when it came to goodbyes, even more so when Izuku tended to want to relive the goodbye over and over. This was not the first visit he made nor would it be the last. It was like clockwork. Every Sunday he came. Sometimes speaking to Hitoshi. Sometimes just sitting beside him in silence. 

He stopped just in front of him, so close he could almost imagine what Izuku's breath might feel like against his skin. His eyes flickered over him, the green seeming duller than before. 

Regardless, he was still beautiful. The sort of beautiful that makes your chest ache. 

"Hi Hitoshi," Izuku said. His voice was barely louder than the wind that blew past. "I'm almost done with my internship. You should have seen them today it was-"

And so the stories began. Just like they did every week. Izuku seemed to have abandoned his old journal, more inclined to let Hitoshi keep all his secrets.  He never grew bored of it. Hearing Izuku speak was like listening to his favorite song. His voice was sweet, even when he jumbled his words together. It was the kind of jumble that made you smile. 

Hitoshi sat back, watching Izuku intently. He tried to memorize every faded freckle, every scar, every single detail. His worst fear was someday forgetting what Izuku's face looked like. After years had passed and the memories began to blur and grow different, he didn't want to lose Izuku's smile too.  

Izuku tasted like heaven, and it hurt Hitoshi like hell to let that feeling go.

He didn't quite know when the decision had been made. All he knew was, in the end, he would need to leave. Izuku could not be held back because of Hitoshi's own selfish longing. 

They had been beautiful together. Their relationship everything it should have been. Even now, in the clouded November light, they still held a bittersweet beauty. 

The wind picked up, almost cool enough to touch Hitoshi's skin. He watched a shiver rake down Izuku's spine, little bumps dotting across his arms. Izuku had always hated being out in the cold. He would be leaving soon. 

A familiar glaze coated over Izuku's eyes. He repeated the same words he'd been telling Hitoshi for over a year now.

"I'm sorry Toshi."

The words were a punch in the gut. He didn't want an apology. He never wanted Izuku to have to carry this undeserving guilt on his shoulders. Just because Hitoshi would have made the selfish choice didn't mean he expected Izuku to. He understood, even then. There were dozens of civilian lives on the line and then there was his. How could he have ever asked Izuku to save him instead?

"I know."

Hitoshi sighed, leaning close to press a cool kiss on Izuku's forehead. When he closed his eyes he could almost imagine what it would be like to feel the warmth of his skin. To grasp Izuku's cheeks in his hand and tell him it was going to be okay. He'd give anything to just hold Izuku one more time. 

But he couldn't let Izuku fall down this path. He wouldn't let him. 

If he left now, Izuku would no longer feel the pull. He would not be subject to the pain of trying to reach him.  Leaving now would be his final gift to Izuku. 

The only one left he had to give.

He spoke slowly, willing the words to get through to him. "I love you Izuku. I love you so much. Too much to watch you do this to yourself."

Izuku looked up just at that moment, almost as he was searching for Hitoshi. 

"I'll come back," Izuku promised. 

Hitoshi had no doubt he would. But after sensing there was nobody here to talk to, the trips would lessen. It would grow to be a burden to come here. To visit something hollow. The trips might shorten to once or twice a year. And then, it would be over. Izuku was only human. He would move on. Hitoshi had seen it happen before. 

"See you later Toshi," Izuku whispered. He wiped a stray tear that had fallen. 

"Goodbye."

Hitoshi stepped away from the sunken grave, letting his fingers trace over the old name. Old flower petals now sunk down in the Earth around him, faded reds and whites coloring the ground in a forsaken display. He found it fitting that the colors moved along with him. A mark of finality. 

He didn't know what came after, or if he even wanted to. Heaven could only exist in a world where he hadn't met Izuku. How could he be eternally happy now, knowing what could have been?

It left a bittersweet taste on his tongue. 

Still, he would gladly sacrifice his fate if it meant he could be somewhere forever with the person that grew smaller and smaller in the distance.

 His eyes fell closed for the last time. He let himself fall with the leaves. 

It felt good to let go. To become part of the wind. 

To fall away to where the beautiful things go. 

----

Oof. Angst is not my forte but I tried my best. 

Thanks for reading! The plot will resume in the next update!