The Runaway

Sirius P.O.V

CW: Depression and suicidal thoughts

Sirius had been locked up in his room for days. Which felt like ages. Rem. Remmy. Remus. Sirius missed him so much. But he wasn't allowed to call him, to text him, to go out of the room. Sirius feared that he wouldn't be able to see Remus again. He was all he could think about. Remus' sweet lips. Remus' intoxicating body. Sirius was so in love with him. Perhaps he had been since he was 11. Sirius kept smelling Remus' clothes. The ones he was wearing that day. They still smelled a bit like him. 

Someone knocked on his door. 

"Fuck off!!" Sirius yelled with tears in his eyes. 

But he heard the door being opened anyway.

"Good morning sweetheart" 

Sirius rolled his eyes. He had yelled and threatened the wicked witch for the past days. But now he was tired of fighting. 

Walburga sat on Sirius' bed. He didn't even dared to look at her. 

"I brought you your daily vitamins"

Sirius didn't answer. 

"I even added a relaxing one. So you can sleep better" 

That got Sirius' attention. Those pills kind of numbed him. The sadness stopped for a while, the constant negative thoughts stopped for a while. He sat down while his mother gave him the pills. 

"Look at you gorgeous face baby" she touched his cheek. "You look a bit more chubby though. For eating so much junk"

Sirius rolled his eyes. 

"We can fix that. I just want what's best for you" she continued "Look at young people, working hard, studying and sacrificing everything to be successful in life. To earn a bit of what you earn. Wanting to be someone. And you are already someone Sirius. And you didn't have to move a finger. Only because of your beauty" she finished stroking Sirius' hair. 

Only if she knew. He had done so much to be where he was. How many things he had sacrificed. 

"Where is Reggie?" Sirius asked. He hadn't seen him in days. Sometimes Reggie left him funny notes under his door. 

"He is at school" Walburga answered "He is lucky that I didn't send him to a bloody boarding school for what he pulled!"

"It was me! I made him help me. It's not his fault" 

Walburga sighed. 

"Why would you want to do that to me, ha?" she asked "After everything Tom and I have sacrificed for you!" 

"Fucking hell! You had made my life miserable! You're just using me mother!!" 

Walburga shook her head "You are impossible Sirius. You are not like this. That boy changes you. Everytime you are with him, you do silly stuff. Think about it... He is toxic... He is not helping you in your career. I have! I have done everything for you! Not even Regulus gets this special treatment"

"YOU HAVEN'T DONE SHIT!" Sirius yelled. He was loosing patience.

"We are in a bad mood, aren't we?" 

Walburga stood up to leave when Sirius spoke.

"I love him" 

Which made Walburga stop on her track. 

"Please can I see him one more time?" 

Walburga sighed and turned around. She had a simpathetic expression.