Caesar Clown ♡ One Shots ♡

Gas Jokes

*Originally Published May 6th, 2014*

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"Euuuughhhh im borrrrreedddddd." You whined, stretching yourself out on the mini bar's counter in a frustrated state.

Monet sat at one end of the counter, reading though her book as per usual, and Caesar was just sitting on the couch, having just finished creating yet another dangerous chemical in his lab and now taking his well-earned break.

"_______, you look rather bored. Are you sure you aren't going to die?" Monet asked, intending to be a smart ass.

"I just said thatttttt. I think I will die if something fun doesn't happen! It's been like this for DAYS. Just that friggin ball of GAS, HOVERING AROUND, making shit in his damn LAB." You emphasized, trying to get the attention of the said man of gas.

Clear that it was him being talked about, Caesar turned around in his seat on the couch and glared at you over the back of it. "Do you have a PROBLEM? I'm doing work, unlike YOU." He retorted with a stiff glare.

"Yes, I do! Because I did work already, and my legs frickin HURT. Now there's nothing left to do! You're lucky enough to not have to deal with leg pains since you just FLOAT everywhere." You grumbled, rolling off the counter and onto three of the stools, gripping the one your head lay on for comfort.

"Quit complaining, or I'll dispose of you." Caesar threatened, narrowing his eyes.

"Tch, you wouldn't dare. I'm too fabulous for that." You said casually, waving off the threat like it was nothing. You knew he wouldn't even get close to doing such a thing. He needed you, and knowing this, brought a grin to your face as you pulled yourself upright and sat properly on one of the stools.

"Fabulous my ass. That about as fabulous as you'll ever get. An ass." Caesar mumbled, turning around while rolling his eyes.

"Ooo, so funny today aren't we?" You said. "Two can play the joking game. Now... to come up with something snappy..." You said quietly so Caesar wouldn't hear your plots.

Monet drew her attention from her book for only a moment with a small smile on her face as she leaned in your direction. "Caesar is a living ball of gas. It can't be hard to make a few insulting jokes about someone like that~!" She hinted, winking one of her eyes before looking back down in her book as if nothing happened.

Now feeling a few sparks of ideas, a large grin made its way across your face as the first few insulting 'gas jokes' that came into your mind.

Crossing your legs in a dignified manner, you crossed your arms across your chest as well while a devious smirk played on your lips.

"Tisk tisk Caesar. That's not a very nice comment coming from the only state of matter that lacks the fabulous form."

He turned around and stared at you with a confused expression. It took him a while to realize that you were insulting him, and further to that, you were insulting his form, meaning he can't keep himself organized and together. This ever so slightly pissed him off, as insulting Caesar, is like poking a dog with a burnt stick continuously. A straight up invitation to hell for the average person.

"_______, watch how you speak to your MASTER." He growled.

"Ooo, since when did I become the dog of a fucking cloud?" You added.

"_______..." He grumbled, narrowing his eyes angrily.

"You know, I bet from across the room, some kid could mistake you for cotton candy. Oh, but you would be more bitter, than sweet, hmmm?" You said, putting a finger to your lips innocently.