Caesar Clown ♡ One Shots ♡

No Gas Necessary

No one ask me where this came from. It just. happened. Don't question my love for this skrunkly bastard lmao. Anyway 18+ because this has heavy drug usage in it. Hallucinogens n shit. 

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There was no eloquent way to put it. For a bio lab tech, you were a tad bit insane, and often tested your experiments on yourself instead of on actual test subjects; mainly because it was quicker and convenient, but it was also most certainly also because you enjoyed riding out different kinds of highs from the assortment of plants you had under your care. Your ability to create and extract drugs both organically and synthetically was one of the many reasons Caesar liked having you around. You were damn good at what you did, and fun with it too. Hell, you had made so many different substances that you had even managed to create many high intensity strains of cannabis, mushrooms, and various other synthetic hallucinogenic drugs that left the consumer without any adverse effects or negative symptoms. They were a recreational consumer's dream, but results like those didn't come without a couple of failures in the mix. Unfortunately, you had been producing a lot of failures recently, and today was no different with every batch of a new drug turning out bad.

The goal was to make a synthetic drug that would give wildly mind altering visuals, but chemistry was more Caesar's forte than it was yours. Biological things were your area of expertise, so it wasn't totally unexpected when the compound you had constructed had a sudden violent reaction. It completely evaporated without warning only seconds after you had added something to it, and while you had half expected something to go wrong, it was still disappointing, and you shot a dirty look of frustration at the now very empty beaker before you.

"... Fuck. How many times am I gonna fuck this up?" You muttered to yourself.

You debated on throwing the whole beaker out of frustration, but decided that the clean up wouldn't be worth it. Truthfully, you were just looking to have a good time, so for your fun to have been spoiled so soon- it left a sour taste in your mouth. When it came down to it, you were still just a biologist, so it was about time you consulted your chemist for this one. If anything, he would at least be fun to be around even if it turned out there was no solution to your problem.

"Fuckin' stupid ass mixture..."

You grumbled the whole way to Caesar's personal lab, looking down at your clipboard of notes with narrowed eyes the entire walk. It was a miracle you didn't run into anyone or anything as you went. The frustration of trying to figure out what went wrong had you completely consumed, every turn you made being directed by muscle memory and instinct. The path to Caesar's lab was travelled often by you, so it didn't matter too much that your eyes were glued to your notes anyway.

It was honestly quite impressive to anyone who witnessed you key in the code to Caesar's lab without even looking; it was a lengthy passcode for one, and you did it all while still muttering at your clipboard, flipping a page up with a finger around the edge of it. When the lab doors slid open, you found his lab to be missing his presence, which somehow irritated you more. If he wasn't in the lab, he'd surely be in his personal quarters, so you marched on through what you would usually call his nerd lair and barged right into his room on the other side of the lab. He was in fact there as you had hoped, his presence being confirmed by the shriek he let out when you stomped up behind him where he relaxed on a couch.

"Hello?? Have you ever heard of knocking?" He yelled, started yet not unfamiliar with you bursting into his room.

"Nah. Never heard of the concept." You answered nonchalantly in jest. "For real though, I need to borrow you. I fucked up something with this drug and I need you to tell me what it is that I fucked up. It's driving me insane not knowing."