One Look - Sarah Paulson

part 21

Weeks went on of you still loving Sarah. No, you two weren't together very long, but you thought she was the one. Yes, it could've been your attachment issues, but the connection... the late-night calls, the good morning and goodnight texts made you feel special. And, that someone finally loved you.. for you. That you made a positive impact on someone else's life and were someone's number one. Unfortunately, someone threw it all away. The work you put in to make sure she was happy and was satisfied with you didn't work. I guess... no matter how hard you try for everyone it doesn't always go the way it's thought to be.

There you were: crying on your bathroom floor, going through your photos of you and Sarah. Your mascara was getting caught in your tears and following them down your face. Your hair was basically a mess, and you were wearing one of Sarah's hoodies that she left.

"Why do I still love you?" You're right, y/n. I ask myself that question every day.

Twitter:
@officially_y/n: but I still fucking love you babe

You threw your phone somewhere near your bed as another burst of tears came out.

Then, you heard your front door close. Your body got excited because you kept tricking yourself saying, "maybe that's Sarah. She came back." However, in your point of view anyway, it was, sadly, Emily.

"Y/n," her marvelous British accent called out.

"In here." She slowly made her way to the bathroom.

"Hey."

You looked up at her. "I see that key has become useful."

"You know you wouldn't let us in by yourself. How you feeling?"

"I still love someone I wasn't even with for that long, how do you think?"

"Did you eat?"

"Mhm. Pizza, ice cream, donuts... anything you might eat after a breakup."

"It's been almost 2 months hon.. you have to let go."

"But, she was supposed to be the one."

"I know, but it turns out the universe had different plans." Emily sat down next to you and hugged you.

You leaned into her arms, silently crying on her lap. "Why are people so fucked up?"

She shrugged. "There are plenty of good people out there. And guess what? One of them is your soulmate. Your number one. And you are their number one. You just don't know it yet."

You just stayed quiet, crying more. "Where's Charlize?"

"Why?"

"She's bringing food... I'm out of stock."

"She'll be here soon. I swear." She started moving the hair out of your face. "Have you deleted the photos yet?"

"...no."

"Oh my god, y/n. Give me your phone."

"What?! No!"

"Y/n, it's for your own good. You just gotta be free. It's time to go out again. Maybe not find someone yet, but at least find out what's happening in the world."

You groaned at the thought. "But, I hate everyone! Expect, you and Charlize, but still! Everyone sucks!"

"Oh, shush your whining, you big baby." 

You huffed, crossing your arms. "I'm not a baby."

"Look what you just did." She paused. "A littleee baby."

"I hate you."

"No, you don't."

"I don't." 

Eventually, another person came through your front door.

"Y/n!"

"The bathroom! Oh, and if you see her phone, give it to me please," Emily exclaimed. 

Charlize walked into the room with your phone in hand. "One phone delivery for Mrs. Emily Blunt." Emily gladly took your phone, quickly unlocked it, and started deleting the memories you've had with Sarah. You stood up with despair, knowing you could never have those back. Some parts of your hair were wet, your face was puffy, and the same damn thing with your eyes. 

"I'm going to bed." You slowly started making your way to your bed.

"No! Come on, y/n... I brought food. Your favorite!"

"I'm not hungry," you sniffled. 

"I guess Em and I will eat all of the dumplings and ramen then."

"DUMPLINGS?" The two older women heard your rapid footsteps getting farther and farther meaning you ran away to the kitchen. 

hehehe hi I'm sorry for the last chapter so uhm.. anyways- i am very tempted to make this a sad ending where you end up with a MAN jkjk just with someone else have a nice day :)

-ayva