Canal Bridge

Chapter Six: Tales From A Murderer

Something bubbles inside me and busts out like someone has mixed cola and mentos in my stomach. I can't control it. It scares me. Sometimes I wish I could just have a normal life; a mom and dad who love me and a home I'm not scared to be in. When my anger claws at my throat and jumps out, it grabs whoever is in its way and rips them to sheds. This all started when my Dad died. Mom took it so hard. I'm the one who lost their father though. She had me as well, but that was never enough for her. She hated me, always. Dad saved me from her wrath when he was alive and then all of a sudden my shield was gone. In the blink of an eye. In the blink of an eye is how I became a wanted person. Once upon a time there was three and now there is one. One person clinging onto the family line only by a thin piece of thread. It's a heavy burden for me being only nine years old. Thankfully, I met someone who held me on their shoulders so that clinging wasn't so difficult for a while. I knew it wouldn't last but I didn't know that it would end in deceit and betrayal. If only I could've held onto my youth just a little longer, if only my father hadn't deserted me.

It all started to crumble about 4 days into our time together. Jumping from hotel to hotel once we left Kitty's house. Being away from my mother was amazing. I saw so many new things while I was out and about. We had to save money though so food was scarce. Sadly, I was used to this so there wasn't much of an issue for me. Sometimes I'd find an extra bit of food was given to me. It was nice to feel cared about for once. Finally I felt like a proper child, playing at the park and camping in the woods. It was probably the best experiences I'd ever had. However, one day something went terribly wrong. My anger once again bubbled up and nothing could stop it. A good time never lasts long, does it? Never knew how true that statement was until I had a good time and lost it. All that time I was teetering on the edge of a massive cliff. Something that everyone knew but I wished to ignore. This was my fall, and what a fall it was.

We had made our beds for the night in the village of Rushall. Not the best of places for raising a family, neither the best place for the old and fragile. It was a cesspool of gang culture and crime. However, I wasn't afraid. Once we had settled in to the grubby old b&b, we made our way to a nearby park as a treat. We had these few breaks from our seemingly unnecessary journeys through the West Midlands. I had heard word of a special swing that brought joy to my soul. It was a swing that spun and went SUPER high in the air. The swing was netted with black rope along the bottom in a dish like shape. I had never before been on such a swing and it sounded quite enjoyable. Upon arriving, we saw a group of youths leaning up against the gates of the park. Standing high a mighty was the swing that I so desired to play on. With the youths staring at us and laughing in an impish manner, my fear held onto my throat and I gripped onto the one now deemed as my protector. Once hands gripped my shoulders, a cold chill swam down my spine as my fears were shown to be for a good reason. We scuttled past like a frightened cat, wincing at a single movement they made. Finally we were past, a breath of fresh air. This didn't last long though as the pebbles crunched under heavy feet that followed behind us. My heart stopped. Maybe I had been familiar to this fear once upon a time but my guard had been let down as I felt safe recently. How stupid of me. I would've let it go. After all, I was scared but not angry. Daggers came flying from one of the youths tongues though, a word I didn't understand was yelled at us. My mother had used this word to describe me so I knew it must be horrible. That reminder was the mento being flung into my stomach full of cola. Anger was sparked once again. Before they could reach for my friends arm, I twisted around and ran towards them. Launching myself onto them, I stuck my tongue into their eye socket. Every noise drowned out, including the screams, the gasps of shock and the worried "no." A familiar metallic taste lingered on my tongue and turned my vision red. One of the other guys tried dragging me away so I yanked him by the dangly bits on his hoodie and he came toppling down with me and the youth I had just stabbed in the eye. My knee met his gut and his head was whacked off of the pebbled floor. It was quite a mess. All the others had ran by this point. More anger was about to flow out of my hands like thorns but I looked up. That face, filled with disappointment and fear. I couldn't take the idea of it. After dusting myself off. I watched as the two boys helped themselves up and scuttled away. Blood still dripped from my lips as eyes that once looked at me with warmth, looked at me cold and empty like I was a stranger. Not again.