Only Colours

Chapter 6

Jude had refused to go over to Mikey's house every time Mikey had asked, so eventually Mikey had stopped asking. He was surprised when Jude turned up at his front door in the middle of a thunderstorm, soaking wet.

Mikey's mum didn't ask questions, for which Mikey was glad. He'd learnt that asking questions only pushed Jude away. She got him a towel, and he sat around in his boxers and her bathrobe while his clothes spun in the drier. When she offered him food, he thanked her quietly and ate it.

Jude wasn't feeling much of anything, just tired and numb like he'd burnt out all his other emotions. They were still there underneath, anger and sadness and anxiety, but mostly he was just moving through life one step at a time. Eat. Get his clothes from the drier and put them on. Curl up on the couch and sleep.

The next day was Saturday, and despite the rain Jude was gone by the time Mikey got up in the morning. Mikey's mum was sad, and that made sense, but Mikey didn't understand the guilt she was feeling. Maybe she just felt bad for not being able to help Jude more? Mikey knew he did.

Jude didn't come around any more often after that, and when he did, it was usually when he'd hit rock bottom. Mikey had never seen Jude happy, but on the days he turned up at Mikey's doorstep he was always in a dark place. They fed him, gave him somewhere to sleep, but that was all they could offer him. He wouldn't let them do anything more.

It was one day at lunch when Jude was in one of his least bad moods that Mikey asked more questions.

"Where do you go when you're not at school or my house? Do you go to your house?"

"Sometimes," Jude said. He didn't have any homework to do, so he was more willing to talk.

"But other times?"

Jude shrugged. "I hang out in the park for a while most nights. Find someone to go home with."

Mikey frowned. If Jude needed someone to go home with, why didn't he just go home with Mikey? Maybe he was worried Mikey's mum would try to adopt him. Jude didn't seem to like being coddled too much.

"Are you going to the park tonight?"

Jude shrugged. "Probably, I guess."

"Can I come?"

Jude's attention jumped to Finn for a second, so Mikey figured he'd said something. Jude turned back to Mikey. "I don't think your mum would like you being in the park after dark."

"Well, you could take me home before it got dark. Or, I'd be safe with you anyway, wouldn't I? You're tough and you have muscles." Mikey reached out and squeezed Jude's forearm.

Jude scowled at him and slapped his hand away, but he wasn't actually angry. He still kept up his facade of annoyance, but he'd become a lot more tolerant of Mikey. "Well, I guess. For a while, if your mum says it's okay. You probably wouldn't have much fun, though."

Mikey was surprised Jude was letting him spend time with him when he could easily have said no, but he wouldn't question it. He grinned. "I'll call my mum after school."

As soon as Mikey told his mum where he was going, she wanted to talk to Jude.

Jude sighed as he took the phone. "Yeah, just the park near the school. There'll be other people there, yeah. Not that that really affects Mikey. Nah, it's really not dangerous if I'm there with him. It's usually pretty chill, and everyone knows that fucking with me is more trouble than it's worth. Yes, I'll have him back in time for dinner. Okay, bye."

Finn went with them to the park, though he followed behind them like a shadow and, as usual, didn't talk to Jude. They didn't have an antagonistic relationship, though Jude clearly thought Finn's devotion was a bit pathetic. They just didn't seem to have anything to say to one another. Jude didn't really talk much unless Mikey prompted him into conversation, and he got the feeling Finn was similar.