Only Colours

Chapter 2

When Mikey was thirteen he started high school, and things got even more difficult. He still saw Dr Lucas once a week so he at least had someone to talk to who understood him, but day-to-day life at school threw all kinds of new challenges at him.

In high school Mikey had many teachers, not just one, and he had to move between classes multiple times a day. All his teachers and all the students in his classes had been informed of his differences, but they hadn't been around him when he was growing up like most of his old teachers and classmates had. They didn't understand, and they were far less tolerant.

Some of them got angry at Mikey. It was probably because they felt like Mikey ignored them, so it was ironic that his solution was to ignore them more. They scared him and made him feel embarrassed, so he pretended they weren't people. They were just colours that he should monitor in case they became dangerous.

Mikey liked to think that his father, who he'd never met, was like Dr Lucas, though he knew that wasn't true. Mikey's mum had only known Mikey's dad for a few hours, but she'd told Mikey that he and his dad had a lot in common. His dad, she'd told him, had been a playful, energetic, and warm man. They had met at a party and, well, Mikey was old enough now to understand how someone might become pregnant to a stranger at a party. He had been an accident, of course, but not one his mum regretted.

Dr Lucas definitely couldn't be described as playful or energetic, but he was warm. When Mikey was around Dr Lucas, he felt safe and grounded.

At first Dr Lucas had firmly enforced professional boundaries, but over time Mikey had worn him down. Mikey was an extremely tactile and affectionate person, and he didn't understand why physical contact wouldn't be allowed. Dr Lucas was Mikey's best friend, and the only person he knew besides his mum.

So eventually Dr Lucas stopped minding so much and he would sit on the couch with Mikey and ask him about school and Mikey would lean against him and chat while he did his homework. It was nice.

His mum didn't think so, however, when one day she forgot her handbag and came back in to get it without knocking and found them like that. She was furious.

Mikey knew what she thought, especially when she started asking questions about whether Dr Lucas had ever touched Mikey or asked Mikey to touch him. Mikey also knew she had entirely the wrong idea. He knew what lust looked like, its colour, and he'd never seen a trace of it in Dr Lucas. It wasn't like that, but his mum thought he was innocent and naïve and that he just didn't understand.

Mikey's mum put in a complaint about Dr Lucas, but there wasn't enough evidence that anything bad had been going on so he was given a warning and the case was dismissed. Mikey's mum wouldn't let Mikey go back to see Dr Lucas, though, no matter how much he asked or begged or sulked.

They moved to a new city not long after that. Mikey's mum told him it was because she got a new job, but Mikey thought it was probably her attempt at a new start. He was unenthusiastic about the whole thing. Though he certainly hadn't liked his old high school, he doubted a new one would be any better. At least he'd understood his old high school, knew the rules and how to get around. People had even started to leave him alone more. Did she not understand how difficult it had been for him to settle in the first time? He dreaded going through the process all over again.

Being away from Dr Lucas wasn't easy, moving wasn't easy, and being angry at his mum, now the only person he had to talk to, wasn't easy

When they moved to their new house Mikey painted his room a sad lilac, then immediately regretted it and repainted it a colour called eggshell. It was really boring, but it was a neutral, meaningless colour.