Forest is close, trees are far

vi. Bjerne

Dearest,
As darkness falls over the forest and twilight spreads over the canopy, woods become bluer. The green in places transforms into bluish reflections, and with the depth of the green it completely disappears and the shadows in dark colors dance on the edges of the forest, and the blue mist creates faces in the distance crucified between the trees. 

Blue is like taking her home. The thought of an old man appears in blue and no no and no that is wrong. I don't want to lose my peace in unrest. But then purple also appears and I'm not much calmer but colorful is better than monochrome.

"Hey!" He reached me in the middle of the cemetery. Weddings should not be near a cemetery. "Have you seen Vaccilia?" He is frightened and lost, and I pretend not to know what it feels like.

It's as if I hear them talking through the rocks, all around us, their voices merging into darkness. "Buuuu buuu, no matter how hard you try, it's pointless. You will join us, whether you are happy or not. Celebrate life. Pointless. Because no one escapes our fate. "

Although there is still light, I am already writing it off because I know it will disappear.

"I don't know where she is," I replied shortly. Because I'm not a threat. Because I won't say anything.

Graves add hahaahah. They feed the fog with their echo, fog becomes thicker. I don't know where it came from. Maybe events condition time.

I can't stop thinking about music that hasn't stopped. Just as the wheels didn't even though the car was already on the roof.

"I wish too more than anything that Mom and Dad were here today." And again that unobtrusive worry, timidity and fear and caution not to hurt me, as if everyone is networked and knows something they think I don't know, that I have not yet understood or am not able to understand. And I laugh and cry because I think I've figured out something they can't understand, and we all know everything and we all understand everything but we all hide and live with anger and fear of exposing ourselves in front of each other. 

"They would know what to do. They would know what is best and whether all this really makes any sense. "

I miss them and I miss you even more because you are alive and I still don't have you. And I need you like never before and I need you the most, and you are gone and the more I call on you, the further you are. I don't need you out there somewhere in the memories. I need you here and now. And this world needs more color and I need you. But the world remains dark and dark blue, and I remain tiny in it, alone and without you. 

"You have a dead man at the table," I say suddenly, frightening Nigleas more than myself. Death is rooted in my thoughts, only drops of dark ink are manifested. 

"Cermi is here. He'll take care of it. "

And now I know how I know pankon. How do we both know him.

"Dwarf?"

"Friend."

"Dwarf friend."

"Human friend." Nigleas doesn't believe in pankons. He believes neither in the forest nor in the language of the leaves. Sometimes I wonder if he knew about death before or just started believing when it has shown itself to him.

The music proved to be as reckless as the reality that created it. The music didn't even notice she had lost one of the players. Would you continue to play too? Something hurts in my chest when I remember that unfortunately I don't know you well enough to know the answer.

We sit in silence, absorbing the silence and becoming silent.

"You think about them all the time, don't you?" He asks me, and I remember that he is still a boy and that he has been left alone like me and that the world is too big for children who are left without parents too soon.

We are the children of the monsoon.
Wind messengers,
and nothing can shake us,
nothing like sadness.
"No, not really. Now I'm thinking about the third dead man. "