𝕃.𝕆.𝕍.𝔼 | skz felix fanfic ✔️

alternate ending cuz my fren wrote it <3

TRIGGER WARNING: child abuse ; murder if you feel uncomfortable, I recommend skipping this 

written by isitbern (i can't tag so i'll just type-)

A month earlier I looked at the piece of thin paper I held between my trembling fingertips, unable to believe what was written on it. I think I'm going to be sick. I'm sorry it had to come to this Felix, but for my brother? I would do anything. I took a deep sigh, and called my brother. "Operation Gemini is a go." Flashback I couldn't help doubting myself, was it really worth it... killing my loved one to save another? Then I remembered his agonized face as he argued defiantly and protected me while he fought to hit me. He sacrificed himself to save me from our abusive father. I remembered all the times he came home wasted, often with other women and would beat us for giving him a cold dinner, or forgetting to clean a corner of our room. I still had a scar on my shoulder from when I was breathing too loud. After our mother died of a heart attack, we had nowhere to go He only 16 at that time, and I was just 12. I know he put on a brave face for my sake, and the first night he came home drunk, he held me in his arms as I sobbed myself to sleep. And now he needed me – or rather Felix's money to save his almost bankrupt company. His company meant everything to him, I think he would fall into a depression if anything ever happened to it Felix's house : 2am As we reached his house at 2am, I calmed my nerves and put on my poker face. No emotions, no regrets. I had a spare key and entered Felix's bedroom. He slept peacefully in his bed, unknowing that today would be his last day on earth, and that I, the one he vowed to love and cherish would be the one to backstab him. Literally. I looked at him sleeping, and interlocked my hands with him tenderly and kissed it, careful not to wake him up.

It would be less painful if he wasn't conscious. "I really did love you" I murmured as I shot him right in is heart. A As he choked blood, all my memories of him started to resurface. Our date at the flower garden, where we slow danced in front of all those people watching, the time he said he loved me in his sleep, the time he asked me to be his girlfriend, our first kiss in the very romantic toilet. A pure selfless love, now lost. My brother entered the room silently, and as he checked his pulse and started putting him in a duffel bag. His once warm and loving hand, now cold and lifeless slipped away from me. And I felt my heart breaking like glass into tiny pieces, he would never live again, and I would never be the same. I don't cry, I never did, not even when I was a baby. I was known as the Ice Queen at home, never showing emotion for anything or anyone. The first time Felix made me smile, at the flower garden, he said that was when he knew, that I was the one. He told me my smile was like the sun in his life, giving him a reason to live and lighting up his life. How ironic. I gathered myself and started changing the bedsheets, while my brother bleached the floor. I was never one to let my emotions show, but a tear or two still dropped, which I quickly wiped way before my brother noticed them. 

After we finished cleaning up the crime scene, and took his phone. After we left, we went to a quiet forest nearby. We set up a bonfire, and sensing that I was physically unable to see my lovers cold, hard body lying out in the open, he sent me to go create a scene at the club and get a alibi. By the time I got back, Felix was nothing but bones and ashes. We buried his bones in a fruit orchard where new trees were being planted, so upturned dirt wouldn't seem out of the ordinary, and just to be safe, we piled a bit of dirt on him, and buried a stray dead cat on top. So that when anyone ever dug here, they would find the animal bones instead of Felix's. We removed his teeth, and all other things which would identify it was him. The ritual felt almost ominous, yet comforting at the same time. I took it as a form of closure.

If I was a normal person, perhaps I would have shed a tear. After that, we sprinkled his ashes into the sewer. Soon enough, they would be out in the sea. We headed to my apartment, and had a sleepover night, I wasn't sure if I could survive the night without nightmares, and at about 6am I had a little drunk sob, about missing Felix. I texted myself on Felix's phone, so the police got the time frame wrong. Tomorrow night, it would be showtime. Y/N's house : 5pm I did my breathing exercise and put on my best scared voice as I dialed 911, luckily, unlike my mother, I was raised to lie, and it was one of the things I was best at. "911, what's your emergency" "M-my boyfriend is missing, he hasn't texted or called me for 9 hours and when I arrived at his apartment for our date, his door was open and phone and keys on the kitchen table" then I made a show of anxious breathing. "Ma'am are you sure he hasn't gone out and simply forgotten his phone."

".. I'm sure, he wouldn't forget his phone" "I'm sorry Ma'am we can only call an investigation if he has been missing for over 24 hours, maybe you could call his friends and ask him If he's with them?" I faked a sigh and hung up. "Silly police, how naïve" The next 15 hours passed by pretty god damn slow. I spent them on my couch with my best friend – a bottle of vodka and calling his friends and family to keep up the act. I went down to the police station a bit after 20 past 8, but not before putting some non-waterproof mascara. I took a look at my hair and decided I looked frazzled enough as a girl who's worried about her boyfriend. I entered the police station and put up a big show, angry girlfriend, demanding to see the detective.

Finally the detective let me in, and I half broke down, letting him know that I was beside myself in worry. He asked me a few questions, and I told him what I "knew" etc. him not replying to my texts, door open, phone and car keys. They went through the fingerprint tests and mine were the only ones there. They were left with no leads and a dead end. 

Funeral at home : 3 months later, 2pm 

The case was officially dropped. I haven't healed much since then, I've barely been able to get up from my bed, let alone shower. It wasn't sadness it was just empty. But his funeral was today, and the will reading later. My brother barged into my apartment at 7am sharp, not caring if I was decent. "Oh shut up, we used to shower together" I rolled my eyes, and went to change into my nicest black dress. Felix's father planned the funeral, I'm not surprised they didn't let me make a speech, not that there was much to say anyway. They never liked me, I wasn't much of a "traditional" fiancée they wanted for Felix, I wasn't petite and dainty, I didn't know how to cook, or clean, I enjoyed running and was content making my own income as a secretary. I didn't need a man in my life. I faked some tears for appearances sake, when in reality I wasn't sad, I just felt numb. Numb to everything. One million dollars. My Felix left me one million dollars. In exchange for his life. I wondered if he would still love me if he knew I was the one who ended his life. Foolish question. Foolish girl, of course he won't. And for the first time in my life, I felt a tiny bit of resentment towards my brother, for putting me in this position, then I remembered it was me who offered. No point regretting. As soon as the money was deposited in my bank account I invested half of it in my brothers company, I couldn't put everything in case the police got suspicious. 

Two month's later

Not much has happened since then. My brother's company flourished, and is now doing extremely well. He offered to pay me back but I declined, it wouldn't bring back Felix, there wasn't a point really. I visited Felix's real grave at the orchard as often as I could, without it being weird, and I managed to shower at least once a day now. I was getting better. Maybe I'll be able to go back to work soon. Slowly but surely I'm healing...