reputation | a doah story

Gorgeous

"You make me so happy it turns back to sad; there's nothing I hate more than what I can't have." - 'Gorgeous' by Taylor Swift

Dixie D'Amelio leaned against the railing of the rooftop at the mansion belonging to the Tik Tok collective The Hype House. She blankly stared up at the L.A. night sky as her phone was pressed against her ear. The dial tone replayed for what felt like the millionth time as her thoughts raced over it. 

She was calling her older boyfriend Griffin who was in Las Vegas for the 4th of July weekend. He was probably in the club with his reckless friends from his content house Sway doing she didn't know what. She scowled at her phone as she got the "inbox full" message yet again and shut it off with a sigh. She felt a presence behind her, so she whipped her head around to see her friend Ryland coming over to check on her.

"Hey Dix, come back to the party! More people just got here it's about to go crazy." Dixie nodded and shoved her phone into the back pocket of her jean shorts as she walked towards him. He offered her one of the White Claws he had in his hands sensing her aggravation. She hesitated before taking it and cracking it open.

She was a regular high school senior who drank in her friends' basements in Connecticut just eight months ago, but since becoming a Tik Tok Star with her younger sister Charli she rarely indulged in the illicit activity. She constantly had to worry about her private life getting leaked and becoming the top drama on the instagram gossip account TikTokRoom. She cringed at the thought as she let the cold bubbles slide down her throat, but her need to distract herself from the insecurity nagging at her heart outweighed her fear of her comment section blowing up with hate.

Dixie entered the common area of the mansion's top floor where everyone was partying. She absentmindedly scanned the room, taking in her friends' antics with the can to her lips as Ryland left her to keep socializing. Michael and Nick were holding down the beer pong table against Tayler and Thomas. Kovur was yelling at Patrick and Paper for spraying the sink hose on the kitchen island and using it like a slip-n-slide. Bryant, their photographer friend, was capturing the shenanigans through his camera lens. It might have been a holiday, but content didn't take a break for the social media stars.

A "Hey Dix!" snapped her out of her trance. She looked up to see Addison coming at her arms first to wrap her in a hug. She welcomed the warm embrace of her best friend. Sensing that something was wrong Addison gave her a concerned look. "Are you okay Dix?" she asked, her brow furrowing as she tried to read her stubborn friend's face. "Yeah I'm fine, just not in the party mood." she shrugged back. "Ok Miss White Claw, you're clearly in the party mood and I know something must be wrong for you to be risking drinking." Addison shot back, not willing to play into her game. 

Dixie knew better than to lie to her best friend who also had to make the same decisions when it came to problematic activities. She sighed and let it out, "Griffin hasn't contacted me once since they got to Vegas. The only reason I know he's even still alive is from his and the boys' posts. I know he's never given me a reason not to trust him, but I cannot stand when he goes completely off the grid on me and he knows it."

Griffin had the tendency to "forget" about Dixie when he was out with the guys, participating in activities she couldn't join in on due to her a family friendly reputation. She hated how he always twisted her concerns into her being needy and insecure instead of listening to how his actions made her feel. It was almost making her believe she was actually needy and insecure, something she had never felt in a relationship before. Dixie was not a soft girl and she hated how she didn't feel like herself anymore. She grappled between her love for control and her love for Griffin all the time.