Yours Truly

Part 20

Camila rests her forehead against the door that she just slammed in Lauren's face and shuts her eyes closed tightly, feeling her body get intensely warm with frustration after the dispute she just had. She stays there for a moment, listening closely for what Lauren would say or do on the other side. But after a few moments, nothing happens. The only sound that can be heard is the relentless downpour happening outside.

Camila reaches up and removes the chain off of the door, knowing that she can't just lock Lauren and the other girls out. They were going to have to come back in sooner or later. There's also a tiny part in the back of Camila's mind that is subconsciously hoping for Lauren to come barging through the door again. But after what Camila said to her, she highly doubts that that would happen.

Now she trudges across the floor on her way back to the bed, her eyes burning as tears blur her vision. She hates feeling this hurt. She hates feeling this upset. The only person she wants comfort from is Lauren but Lauren is also the person who made her feel like this. She's stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Camila knows she was being a bitch to Lauren just now and she knows that she will most definitely regret it later, but right now she can't find it in herself to care. Her conscience has totally disappeared and is replaced with feelings of rage and offense.

Lauren knows that one of the things she hates most in this world is getting yelled at. It makes her uncomfortable, scared, and small. She feels like she's being looked down upon and it makes her feel like shit and inferior. Yet Lauren was still doing it and to make it worse, they were in public. Camila's pretty sure that everyone on the beach, including that girl who they ran into, could heard what was happening.

Camila never knew she was the possessive type until she started dating Lauren. She just can't help it. Camila hates when people who she thinks are more attractive than her speaks with Lauren because that's when every single insecurity she has makes its way out. She can't help if it she suddenly grabs hold of Lauren's hand or glares threateningly at the other person. She seriously doesn't mean to do it most of the time.

It all fucking comes down to insecurities. Always.

She doesn't have the most confidence in herself, not like Ally, Normani, Dinah, or Lauren. But she isn't unconfident either. Lauren and the girls have all played an incredible role in helping her feel better about herself and she can't thank them enough. She's like a completely different person ever since she met Lauren, Dinah, and Normani this year. She's always loved herself and she's proud of the person she is, but, like any teenage girl, she gets insecure around other teenage girls. Especially ones who look like they just waltzed on out of a damn magazine.

The girl they encountered on the beach was drop-dead gorgeous. She was so pretty that it was intimidating and that automatically turned the insecure switch on inside of Camila. She wasn't even aware that she was giving her the death stare until Lauren called her out on it shortly after. But now that she knows, she's sorry she did it. She's usually not like that. Anything that has to deal with Lauren just makes her do some crazy things.

"Fuck," Camila mutters to herself, pounding her fist down on top of the pillow her face was on. Why did this have to happen right here, right now? It was the first day of their weekend getaway and of course it has to end with them fighting.

Lightning flashes with a loud clap of thunder following a couple of seconds later. Camila immediately jams her headphones back into her ears and turns the volume up to drown out the god awful sound. Tears come down from her eyes and she grits her teeth as she trembles in fear. And of course it has to fucking storm too. What a great way to top off a horrible night.

Camila tucks her legs up to her chest and throws the blanket over her head, trying to block out the roaring wind and booming sounds. She told Lauren she didn't need her because she doesn't. She doesn't need anyone, but that doesn't mean that she doesn't want Lauren. In fact, she wants her more than anything else in the world.