Iris

•*Chapter 31*•

I R I S

Sweat was currently drenching my whole body as I woke up from another nightmare.

I dragged myself across my room and into the bathroom as memories of my tenth birthday replay in my mind. The first time my nightmares started, when mom gave me a nice double digit beating. I splashed some cold water on my face and wiped the sweat off.

It was currently 4:30 and I didn't have to wake up until 6. But there was no way I could go back to sleep now, so I took my blanket and made my way out of my room. I crept through the hall, down the stairs until I arrived in the kitchen. I grabbed the cookie dough ice cream from the freezer and a spoon, before dragging myself to the living room. I got the remote and went on Netflix. Once Friends started playing, I got comfortable with my blanket and started eating my ice cream.

Happy birthday to me I guess.

I realize now that birthdays will never be a happy moment for me. Not after what that vile woman did. Birthdays were supposed to be a time to celebrate life, but they make me want to end mine. Birthdays were about spending time with people who love you, but my mother made sure to remind me that she hated every aspect of my being.

I was too busy in my thoughts to realize that I had finished my Ice cream. And that's when the tears started coming.

I'll never be the same. She ruined me and now I'll never be the Iris that was happy, the Iris that smiled all the time, the Iris who loved herself. And with those thoughts, I fell asleep on the couch while the tv was watching me.

***

"Where's Iris?"

"What do you mean where's Iris? Obviously she's in her room dumbass."

"Ok but I'm in her room and she's gone!"

"Who's gone?"

"He says Iris isn't in her room."

"She has to be in her room dumbass!"

"Okay why is everyone calling me a dumbass today?"

"Because you're being a dumbass!"

I guess that's my cue to wake up before they hurt Lorenzo's feelings anymore.

I got up from the couch, still wrapped in my blanket and made my way up the stairs. Emilio, Lorenzo and Mateo stood at my door arguing, but stopped abruptly when they saw me walking towards them.

"Good morning." I said before slamming my door in their faces.

I sighed and dropped the blanket on my bed, before shedding my clothes and having a shower. I turned the water temperature all the way, trying to see if I could feel something. Anything at all. But I still felt numb. Numb and empty.

Once I finished showering I stepped out, dried off and started putting on my uniform. While tying my ascot, I looked at my reflection, before sighing and looking away. I didn't want to upset myself anymore this morning. So I went downstairs and saw all my brothers there having breakfast and laughing, well Alejandro was too busy reading the paper, like they do every morning. Except this morning I wouldn't be laughing with them.

"Good morning Gumdrop." Luca said. All laughing stopped as the boys realized I was in the room. I just gave Luca a tiny fake smile and went to sit at my regular spot. Maria walked over to me and gave my a bowl of diced fruits with a smile.

"Thank you Maria." I said with a small smile. She smoothed my hair with her hand and smiled back before returning to the kitchen. I started eating in silence as the boys didn't start talking yet. I just kept my head down and kept on eating. Emilio eventually ended up breaking the uncomfortable silence and soon after the laughter started up once more. When I looked up for a small second, I saw Alejandro already looking at me. I quickly looked back at my bowl of fruit.