Sleeping Dork | Kenny X male reader | South Park

10- One more and I commit die

Thoughts overwhelmed my mind. I was scared for lunch break to come. After the big "fight" me and Kenny had, who knows how it would be... Maybe things had changed that afternoon and were never going back to normal. I wouldn't blame him if that was the case...

Maybe he wouldn't even be there.

Kenny McCormick...

No, he would be there. I was sure of that. He had been there longer than me, it wouldn't be because of me that he would stop going. And I sure hoped he wouldn't stop going because that boy sure needed that rest... Working all night... God, that still didn't sit well with me. It was heartbreaking to think about it.

I didn't know if it was pity or what it was but I just wanted to help him. Get him out of that unhealthy routine, give him a good life. He definitely deserved one. He deserved more even, for dealing with my bullshit alone he should get a fucking mansion.

A nice big mansion, with tons of cute dogs and a big swimming pool. A cozy room with a movie screen and a fancy kitchen full of his favourite food, whatever that might be. In the backyard, big trees and between the two biggest ones, a little tent made with blankets with a bed of flowers and pillows under, where he could take as many naps as he wanted.

That boy sure deserved a lot.

Meanwhile, my guilt kept eating me up during the morning. Time went slow, I just wanted lunch break to come to get it over with, but it wouldn't. It would never ring, the teacher would speak for what seemed like ages...

"Psst, Y/n!" Clyde whispered.

"What?" I replied with an annoyed tone. Not because I was annoyed at anything in particular but because that was my automatic reaction to Clyde's voice.

"Meet me outside, I wanna talk"

"Fine" I shut him down quickly, seeing that the teacher was listening.

As soon as the bell rang, Clyde left and stood in front of the classroom door talking to some girls. I packed my books and walked up to him, dreading the moment that I'd have to hear his voice again.

"Follow me" He didn't even look at me, he just walked. I did as he said.

Once we reached the back of the school, where the goth kids usually were, he let his backpack slide down his shoulders to the ground. Then he sat at the stone stair and took a cigarette from his pocket.

"Do you have a lighter?" He asked, looking up at my disgusted face.

"Do I look like I smoke?" I answered.

"Ugh" He shoved the cigarette on his pocket again and looked to the side, avoiding eye contact.

I waited patiently until he felt like explaining to me why the hell he had pulled me all the way to the back of the school alone.

"Look man, I'm gonna be real honest with you here. You have to get some new friends." He spit out with a tone of fake worry.

"What?" I asked confused.

"Tweek, Craig and even poor Token. They can't say it to your face but you are so fucking annoying." The way he said that so easily made my blood curl. I gripped my first, ready to throw some punches. But I let him continue. "You're always making a big deal of nothing, you're jealous, selfish, a dramatic bitch and just not a good person to be around. You have to leave us alone, you're bumming everyone out"

"Are you fucking-" I started but he interrupted me immediately. This time, he looked at me deep in my eyes.

"Listen, this isn't some stupid fucking fight I'm picking with you. I'm serious. I want to have so damn fun with my friends but you're either being negative or Tweek and Token are worried about you and start being negative too. It isn't healthy for them, they deserve some peace of mind, live their highschool years with some fucking energy instead of "Y/n looks sad" or "I should talk to Y/n, he was upset in class". Honestly, are you that much of an attention whore or are you really this needy and childish?"

I froze in my spot as he said those harsh words. Not a glimpse of empathy in them. I hated him, so much. It amazed me how he could be so rude to someone with no signs of shame or regret. I was ready to punch his teeth in but I didn't even know how to act. I couldn't speak, move or think properly. I just stood there, swallowing every single thing he has said.

"So yeah, I know you don't like me but don't do it for me, do it for Tweek and Token. They really just hang out with you cause they pity you" He got up and, just like that, left me alone. Alone with my thoughts.

I was so angry but I couldn't help but wonder if what he said was true. I knew I wasn't the easiest person to be friends with, hell, my long list of being bullied and a loner in previous schools confirmed that for me. But I didn't think Tweek and Token felt uncomfortable with me. I sure hoped they didn't. I didn't always show it but I cared about them... Who am I kidding, I never showed it.

And it was true that I was negative all the time. It's no surprise they'd get that from me. It was hard to not remember all the times I saw them laugh without me. Laughing in ways they'd never do with me. And I knew why they didn't. I kept ignoring it and convincing myself it was just negative thoughts but I really did always bring the mood down around them. I just had that effect on people. In my desperate plead for help, I just brought people down with me.

I felt my heart sank.

Just like with Kenny, I had fucked up. But this, this was a year-long fuck up. I was so blind, thinking they really needed me as their friend when it reality, they couldn't wait to get away from me. And who could blame them. I just exploded on them, insulted and shut them off.

I immediately fell to my knees in tears. Once again, the truth struck me and I didn't want to accept it.

I was a good friend, right?

I wasn't that negative, right?

People enjoyed my company, right?

I was a good person... Right?