i've noticed things about people lately. people from films, people i talk to, people like me.
people can be very sad creatures. most of my friends are sad, for different reasons. i wouldn't necessarily consider myself sad. frustrated, yes. unsatisfied, yes. angry, yes. but sad? sad is too soft of a word to describe myself. but that isn't what this is about. this isn't a vent, or a pity party. i'm not sure what this really is.
oftentimes, people push others away, the ones who love and care for them. sometimes, it's because this person doesn't want to get too attached to others because they feel as if everyone leaves. sometimes, it's just because this person has been lied to and hurt too many times and developed trust issues. sometimes, it's simply because they don't want to hurt people so they push people away to keep them safe. other times, these people push others away so other people can be happy, so they don't have to be burdened with this person's problems. people keeps others at a distance for various reasons, reasons that make sense to them.
the thing is, when people are getting pushed away, they give up. they just say 'fine' or walk away or separate themselves from this person. and i don't think that's really the right thing to do. when i do keep myself at a distance, sometimes i just want someone to fight me back. i want them to look me in the eye and say 'you can push me away all you want but i'm not leaving' or something along those lines. because i think that if you simply let them be, simply let them do this, that's not really going to help. they're just going to keep doing it, over and over again because they think everyone will react the same. everyone's just gonna throw their hands up and say 'whatever'.
don't just turn your backs on them. i know they make it hard for you not to do that and they try to keep you farther away but just try. don't just cast them aside or cave in and say 'fine.' push back a little but not too hard obviously. show them that you'll stay; show them they mean something to you because i think all they want is someone who cares enough about them to keep trying, who keeps trying to get closer, who won't ever give up. at least, this was what i wanted. but it never really happened. i just kind of figured this out for myself. so yeah.
sorry for wasting your time.
