a letter to my closest friend in the world. so unless you're him, you may as well just skip this.
dear harry,
one of these days, i'll get around to making you your own book but for now, a small chapter will have to do.
i think (i'm not sure) i've dedicated something to everyone i care(d) about except for you, haz. i've done it for zayn, ana, mia, daniel (i don't think you know him), maybe even greyson (or him) and yet, i haven't once felt the need to dedicate something to you. i find that especially ridiculous since looking around now, in this day and age, i see that i can only relate to you really. it's not that they weren't there for me; they were sometimes. but you, you were always there for me.
i don't know a lot of things but when it comes to you, i know quite a bit. i know that i love you, harry. i do, i genuinely love you. and i don't mean it in that kind of 'let's get married and make a billion children' love, mainly because i simply don't feel that way towards you nor vice versa and obviously we're both married, but i love you like i would for my family. and you're like my big brother, harry. actually, you are my big brother. i care about you a lot, sometimes too much for my own good, i think.
and it's not that i don't care about my other friends, i do. honestly, i do. i wouldn't get into their business if i didn't want the best for them. i want to see them happy. but- i guess it's just different when it comes to our friendship. most of the time, i feel like a second choice to the rest of them, like a back-up you could say. if friend number one isn't there for them, or even friend number two, then there's always rosabella; rosabella will help. i don't think i'll ever be as close to them as they are with each other, which sort of sucks. i still love them though, and i still care for them but i don't really consider them my 'best friend'. it's my fault though; i don't try to get closer to them. i don't feel like i have to. why? well, 'cause i've got you.
and when it comes to you, i don't always feel so alone. i don't really feel like crying because i know that you'll understand it better than most others. in fact, most of the time i feel calmer when i hang around you. you and i sometimes go through the same thing and the same feelings at the same time. and that helps a lot because we talk it out and we try to comfort each to the best of our abilities and we help each other get through it.
i can't lie to you. i mean, i can but it's really hard for me too. i'm pretty open when it comes to you. and whenever it's needed, i try to help you. sometimes, i'm not sure if it even works but that hasn't stopped me from trying yet. and ironically, i can't recall when we've ever gotten into a fight. we've had a few disagreements but i honest to oh sehun (i don't believe you know who that is either but he's one of my many versions of god) can't remember a time when i was angry at you. harry, i'd like to say a quick 'thank you' for sticking with me for this long. i've said it tons of times but thank you. you've done so much for me and i'm not sure if i'll ever be able to thank you enough times.
you're kind of like my role model. we've been friends for so so so long and we've been through quite a bit. so i think i've seen you at your worst. i've seen how you can be when you feel sad or depressed but you still have this mindset of hope: that tomorrow will be a better day, that this will be just another bump on the road, and i admire that. i wish i had that and that's why i keep hanging around you. you're thoughtful and i think you're the kind of person i need to be around with, someone who's realistic yet positive. you might not think you're positive at all but you make me feel better about myself, harry. like i'm not completely and totally alone. and i admire you for that.
you're a large part of my life. i don't know what i'd do if you weren't around. i don't know who else i'd be able to even call 'a friend' because quite frankly, i really only trust you. you're honestly one of the two people i can talk to about anything and everything. (take a wild guess who the other person is.) i'm proud to say that i'm your friend. you're one of the reasons why i'm still here. yes, i've got plenty of reasons why but you're one of them. i wish you and angie the longest and happiest of marriages because harry, you deserve the best in the world (and may i say, you've certainly got the best wife; wink wink). i hope you know how much you mean to me. i also hope you never forget it because i will certainly never forget you.
i also don't think you'll see this anytime soon but i don't know. i thought this was a nice addition to this... little book.. thing.. of mine.
this was much longer than i intended it to be so i think i'll just end it here.
sincerely,
rosy ❀
