Falling (H.S. X L.T.)

Chapter Thirteen

Trigger warning for this chapter! Detailed description of self harm. If you don't want to read the chapter because of this that's fine, I will summarize it at the beginning of the next one, nothing huge with plot happens in this one. Stay safe lovelies~

Harry's Pov. 
(Note that this is the morning after the party, its taking place around the same time as the last chapter)

That morning around 10 Louis dropped me off at my house. I knew my mom was going to be pissed at the fact I never came home, and the fact I didn't call to tell her I'd be leaving the house in the first place. When I walked in I could see my mom sitting in the living room on the couch. She looked concerned, but as soon as she saw me she stood up and walked quickly to where I was standing.

"Where the hell were you Harry?" She demanded, a stern tone in her voice and angry look in her eyes.

"I was at Niall's..." I said, giving her a nervous glance. I didn't want to talk about the party.

"And What were you doing there? Also why didn't you tell me you were going?" My mom interrogated, she seemed really mad.

"Well I didn't say anything because I wasn't planning on spending the night so I figured I'd be back here before you... And we were just hanging out that's all.." I replied. I wanted this conversation to be over.

"Was it just you and Niall?"

"Well...no not really.." I was getting nervous, I was never able to lie to my mom.

"Who else was there?" She asked suspiciously.

"Uh- well just like.... Maybe 80 people from school." I said slowly, looking up from the floor to see my moms reaction.

"You went to a party? Without asking me!?" My mom was, well she was mad.

"It's really not a big deal.." I sighed in annoyance.

"Harry Edward Styles. You are grounded. Give me your phone." My mom said angrily, she held out her hand, waiting for me to give her my phone.

"Are you being serious?" I asked disbelief. She was overreacting.

She didn't say anything, just looked at me expectantly.

I groaned before putting my phone in her hand.

"You will get this back when I decide. As for seeing friends, you're not allowed at anyone's house for a week. I nodded slowly. There was no point in arguing with her. My mom stormed past me and out of the house. I heard her start her car. After my dad left the second time she's literally never here unless she is sleeping. I sighed and walked into my room, sitting at my desk. I put my elbows on the desk and rested my hands in my hair, I closed my eyes but as soon as i did his face was there; Nick's. I shook my head, trying to shake the images out but it was no use. I opened my eyes instead, standing up and trying to think of something to do. I decided I would take a shower. I walked into my bathroom and grabbed a towel from the small closet and laid it on the sink. I caught site of something that made me shiver.

There was a dark blue razor sitting on the sink, I looked at it longingly. I had a problem with cutting a few years back in 6th and 7th grade. My mom found out about it and locked up every sharp thing in the house, forced me to have therapy sessions with her in the room and never let me close my door until I stopped. I still got the urge to do it every now and then. The itch would come up under my skin, egging me on. It would tempt me with it's itch. I was good at resisting it though. Right now though, there didn't seem to be a reason to resist it, I needed it. I bit my lip, looking at the razor again. I fell into a daze as I looked at the piece of blue plastic, little silver lines along the edge of it.

It could help. It might make me feel better. I mean I'm being bullied at school. My dad came back just to leave and shatter us again, I was almost fucking raped last night. I deserved a break. I needed a break.

"Harry!" Gemma yelled, standing beside me, shaking my shoulder.

"Jesus Gem! You scared me.... What's up?"

"Harry I said your name 4 times, you were just staring at the sink..." She let her eyes travel to the sink, catching sight of the razor I was staring at.

She walked over the sink and instantly snatch the razor up, giving me an unreadable look. I guess you could say she looked shocked. I looked at her blankly, eyeing the razor in her hand. She just let out a sad sigh and gave me a sad glance before leaving me alone in the bathroom. I locked the door to the bathroom and crouched onto my knees, looking under the sink for the packet I knew would be there. I was proven right when my eyes caught sight of a small purple bag. I opened it to find what I was looking for. Inside were extra razor blades, they were replacement blades for other razors so they weren't actually attached to a razor. They were just all lose by themselves.

I pulled one out of the bag, looking at it carefully.

Did I really want to start this again? I had to ask myself that question. I knew what would happen if i started this again, it happened in 7th grade. I couldn't help it though. I just needed a break, a release. Anything. Making my decision, I stripped my clothes and stepped into the shower. I turned the water on and adjusted the temperature until it was what I wanted. I brought the blade I had been holding up to my arm. Closing my eyes and taking a deep breath, I pressed the cold metallic material into my skin. I dragged it across my wrist slowly, hissing in pain at the sensation I hadn't felt in over a year. It felt relieving to feel it again, it was a feeling I was so familiar with yet so new at the same time. I let out a long breath. I brought the blade away from my skin and examined the cut. I saw the blood seeping through the slice in my skin, being washed away by the water of the shower and into the drain. I slid it across my skin, deeper each time until there were 7 red cuts, blood flowing from them.
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Awe :( Hazza. Thanks for reading lovelies <3

"'Friend zone' is attacking a women for her right to say no, and 'slut' is attacking her for her right to say yes."

-and 'bitch' is attacking her for her right to call you on it.