Numb (DreamNotFound)

9

TW's:
-Mentions suicide attempt/self harm
-Tantrum/aggression/trauma/abuse

George's POV

I woke up a while later, it felt like hours later. Even though I wished I would never wake up. After another suicide attempt they would lock me up in that stupid cell again.

I looked around me and I looked down at my arm. It was a big bandage around there and I had an IV in my arm. Maybe they gave me blood or something, since I passed out because of blood loss. I looked up when I saw a doctor walking in and he looked at me through his small glasses.

'How are you feeling, George?'

'Little bit dizzy and tired. I really don't want to go back there, please. They hurt me.'

'I can't decide over that, I'm sorry.'

'Call the police again, please.'

'I will do what I can. Can you try and stand up, George?'

I nodded slowly. I sat up and slowly lifted myself up. I was a little dizzy and I didn't know what to do. I could act like I wasn't feeling good to stay here, but I also didn't want to be in hospital.

'I'm okay, I guess. Just a little dizzy.'

'Sit back down, you can go home.'

'Home,' I whispered with tears in my eyes.

I wished I could go home, see my parents again. See my brother again.

'Can I see my parents?'

'No, I'm sorry. You aren't allowed to have contact with anyone.'

'I'm not a criminal, please.'

'I'm sorry, I can't do anything for you. You can go back, I'll call the man who works in the asylum.'

I sighed deeply and nodded. I wanted to cry, but instead I got mad. I got really, but really mad. I stood up and pushed the doctor against the wall. 'I WANT TO GO HOME.'

'Hey, stay calm please.'

'NO,' I screamed. I couldn't resist myself anymore. He looked at me and that triggered my trauma even more. I grabbed his hand and hit him in his face.

'LET ME GO, DO SOMETHING.'

I grabbed his shoulders and shook him, making him hit the wall multiple times in a row. I saw him pressing an alarmbutton and I hit him again.

'LET ME GO HOME.'

I was so angry, I saw the eyes of the murderer in front of me again. They looked at me, they wanted to kill me. I grabbed a chair and lifted it up, throwing it through the room.

'ARSEHOLE, I HATE YOU. I GENUINELY DO. I WANT TO GO HOME.'

I started smashing the chair onto the ground and started screaming. 'NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ME. NO ONE WANTS TO HELP ME.'

The room filled with people and they pushed me against the wall. 'You're going back to the asylum.'

And so it went down, I got taken back to my cell. I kept calling it a cell, it was a cell. I sat down for an hour now, I had been sitting in front of my window the whole time. I really wanted to behave myself so I could get out of here, but I couldn't control myself.

As soon as I saw those eyes again, I just couldn't do anything else than hit or scream. It made me so scared and I couldn't do anything else than hit anymore. It was completely broken and I wanted to be happy. I needed therapy, I knew I did. But they just wouldn't give me my therapy, I was so tired and broken.

I kept staring out of my window and I had tears streaming down my face, I wanted to go to my friends, I wanted to go to school. I couldn't graduate this year, I couldn't do a study, I couldn't laugh with friends. I had no one, I was alone.

I wiped some tears away, I wanted to stand up and hit all walls. I wanted to scream and even bang my head against the wall, but still. I didn't, I wouldn't. I was going to behave, I needed to get away here as soon as possible. I was breaking, I was already broken enough. I needed help, I really did, but no. I got treated like I was world's biggest criminal. I was here treated like I was just a piece of shit.

I hated everyone, I genuinely did. My parents didn't get me out of here either. My own parents were scared of me. I wanted to scream and jump up to break anything I could possibly break, but I didn't. Instead, I grabbed my pillow and screamed in it, hitting it with my hand. I was ripped apart, I genuinely was.

I startled as I heard someone knock on my window. I quickly wiped my tears away before turning around and looked at the blonde boy standing in front of my window again. He was holding his phone and started typing something. He turned his phone around and showed it to me.

Hey! I'm glad you're here, I was really scared. You seem really tired, are you okay?

I shook my head as an answer.

The police is trying to collect enough proof to close this asylum.

I smiled softly as I read the text. 'Long,' I whispered.

I think you asked me if it's going to take long? I don't know, but my therapist is trying his best.

I nodded slowly. 'Therapist?' I tried lip syncing.

Yeah, I'm in rehab.

'From what?'

Alcohol, drugs and smoking.

'You good?'

I'm really far in my therapy and rehab. I'm sober and clean for almost three months.

I lifted my thumb up and smiled softly at him.

I would love to talk when you get out of here. You seem nice.

I shrugged. 'No one likes me.'

I do like you.

'You don't know me.'

But you're sweet and kind, so I do kinda like you.

Clay giggled and he blushed slightly. It was so adorable that I couldn't resist a small smile. I looked at my hands shyly and felt myself blushing a little.

You're cute smiling like this, you should smile more often.

I smiled even brighter and I hid my face behind my hands shyly. I just felt a small spark of hope, a small spark of happiness.

1043 words