Numb (DreamNotFound)

16

TW's:
-Mentions mistreating/abuse
-Mentions addictions (self harm/alcohol/drugs/smoking)

Clay's POV

George and I talked for half an hour, I had to go back and he went to sleep. I was happy, I was genuinely happy. We had talked a little about places we wanted to go together. We just wanted to wait until we were ready and definitely George wasn't ready right now. He was really scared to hurt me too when he got triggered by something and he didn't want that at all.

And at the same time, I was scared to relapse and put even more pressure on him. It wouldn't go very easy so we would wait until we both thought we were ready for it. I knew I would keep liking him anyway.

He had literally everything I was looking for in a friend. You could talk with him about serious problems, but you could also laugh with him. He was smaller than me and I always wanted someone to be smaller than me and I really liked hugs so I could easily hug him. He was so sweet and he liked me being taller than him.

The thought of him being my best friend kept me going, I liked him a lot. I felt bad for him and everything he was going through, but I knew he was strong.

I was sitting on my bed and someone knocked on my door softly.

'Yeah.'

The door opened slowly and my therapist came in, he sat down on the chair.

'Clay?'

I nodded, I was calmer after I spoke with George.

'You really like George a lot, don't you?'

'I do, and he likes me too.'

'Did he say that?'

'He did. I said uh- that he really wants to be my friend. He wants to go to places with me and we talked about where we could go. I like him and I'm going to wait for him when he's ready and he said he's going wait for me to ask him and to yes.'

'Does he make you happy?'

'He makes me really happy.'

'Since the police doesn't have enough proof to close the asylum, I made up a plan. But this is risky and I could lose my job because of this and George is able to get hurt.'

'What? What are you planning?'

'George and a lot of others get really mistreated in there. George loses a lot of weight so I think they might be starving him.'

I nodded slowly. 'What is the plan?'

'George needs to escape and scream at that guy.'

'What? He can't just escape and scream. He will get hurt and we literally have nothing than expect that George got hurt.'

'I'm going to filming and I'm going to ask the police to hide somewhere behind the rehab centre. We can get George away there, okay?'

'But it's so risky. Is that enough proof?'

'You have to let George scream of what they do to him so the police hears everything.'

'But you're a therapist, why are you willing to go this far?'

'Because I want to get those kids out of there. They have a life and I want them to live it. As George said, he knows he needs help, but he doesn't get help. You know this isn't only a rehab centre right?'

'What?'

'You're in the rehab section, but we also have EMDR coaches, we have therapist for eating disorders, depression, anxiety and whatever you can think of. George can come here and we can help him.'

'Are you serious? What's EMDR?'

'George needs EMDR. It's a sort of trauma therapy, the therapist will make you go back to what happened and they will move their fingers in front of your eyes. You have to follow the fingers with your eyes and you have to think and see the things that trigger in front you. They are trying to break the connection to the fear and such by making you do too many things at once. Your brain can't handle that much activity.'

'Does that work?'

'For most it does, at least a little. And another good thing. He's close to the rehab centre, so he can also a coach to stop with self harm, because he is addicted.'

'Do you also help people with that addiction?'

'Yeah, we help people with all addictions. We have had the weirdest things. We have different groups, you're in the group for people with alcohol and drugs addiction and such.'

'So he can get help?'

'We have all help for him he needs.'

'And for his aggression?'

'He gets aggressive because something triggers his trauma. If his trauma is less heavy, he will get less aggressive.'

'I have a question.'

'What's the question?'

'Will a trauma ever go away fully?'

'It will always be there, but the connection with the panicking thoughts will be gone or way less, so he isn't going to panic as much anymore.'

'And uh- what if we get out of here and he gets aggressive? What do I do?'

'You have to learn how to calm him down, but you will learn that with time.'

'Do you think I'm able to do that?'

'You're really calm and that helps. If someone screams at him too, it will get worse, but when someone keeps really calm he will calm down quicker.'

'I would do anything to have a good friendship with him, even if he would hit me. I really want to have him as my best friend.'

My therapist smiled. 'I want to get him out there as quick as possible, okay. If you can, go to his window and wake him up, okay?'

'But I'm not outside allowed anymore, and I have already been outside for longer than an hour today.'

'That's on me, just go, okay? You won't be in trouble, I will. It's fine.'

'But therapist is your dream job.'

'I don't mind, I want those poor kids to be save. Go, Clay. Now.'

1022 words