Being Her Idiot... Exclusively

10. Being Free (Continued)

I nodded at them and greeted them and left the place in slow steps.

I had always been angrier at my mom as compared to my father. I had expected my dad to do something like this but not her, never her.

Sometimes parents can commit mistakes too. Try to forgive them for that. We feel betrayed because we just assume that they can never commit any mistake. A dialogue from a movie rang in my head. Maybe I should try to think sanely and just try to let things go. She is in a better place in her life. She has remarried and this Pratap guy is a suitable fit for her. One can see the love he has in his eyes for her. She would have never gotten this with my father. I cannot blame her or make her feel guilty for leaving my father.

As of leaving me... yeah, I can never forgive her for that. But there is a lot of time left to solve this with her. Its not like she doesnt remembers me... She does and she is guilty for everything that happened. Not everything needs to be solved today. Maybe its high time for me to make peace with things. I had tears in my eyes and I dont even know why. They werent tears of agony; they were just tears of relief. I felt better and as if I could breathe again.

This time I didn't feel angry, nothing like that. I just felt good as if I had let go of a burden. It felt as if now I can think about me and only me. I can think about my happiness.

She had asked me to keep in touch with her when I was leaving. Maybe I will, maybe I won't but now I will just think about the present. The tears in my eyes felt good; in fact they felt soothing. It had been a long time since I had cried. I sat in a nearby park and looked at kids playing and their guardians talking to each other. Everything felt oddly beautiful and soothing. The orange hue of the sky due to sun setting, the mountains, the cold air on my face, the leaves falling from the trees, kids running around and chuckling. Everything!

Is this what making peace feels like?

It was around 6 when I got up to leave and walk all the way back to the resort. I hadn't brought my phone with me because I didn't want to be disturbed by anyone. They must be really worried. Especially Randhir...

Randhir! A small smile came up on my lips as I thought of him. When I was 16, I had ripped a book of Romeo and Juliet because I hated the feeling of love. Love was a facade. That time Dadi had said that souls like me deserved to be loved. I will find someone who loves me unconditionally. Maybe I have found him.

I reached the resort in around half an hour. As assumed, everybody was sitting at the door worried like hell. Now I feel guilty for not telling them anything, except leaving a note on Sanaya's pillow and that too wasn't a lot of help as it just said I had gone to take care of some past. It was so vague. I had also asked Randhir to not tell anything to anyone. I was scared if I wouldn't be able to do it and that will make me look as an idiot to them. Thats what the old Sanyukta felt... Ahh, no that's what I feel now too! Maybe not all things can change so abruptly. That will be so stupid wouldn't it if everything ends on a happy note out of nowhere? Like a cheesy teenage novel.

As soon as I came into their view, they stood up and gathered around me.

"Where were you gone for the whole day?" Sanaya spoke angrily. Wow I really am in trouble.

"Do you even know how worried we were for you? Me and Parth went around asking for you at least twice." I had never seen Aryan so worried.

"Suga, that note was also very vague. Are you hurt? Are you hungry? Have you even eaten something? Why do you look so weird? Are you high?" Vidushi asked and I realised that of course I looked weird, they had never seen me so calm and also I was kinda tired. I just wanted to sleep... but before that I wanted to do one last thing.