Bad For You

twenty

Swan Lake.

This year we would be performing Swan Lake for the winter ballet.

The audition sheet is posted outside after class and students scramble to sign up. I hang back and wait for the crowd to disperse before slowly approaching, scanning the list. My eyes widen in surprise.

The lead role has been split this year. Instead of one person playing both Odette and Odile, it'll be two people.

This year we're allowed to audition for two roles. I'm not surprised that Lucy and Noelle signed up for both Odette and Odile. I really don't think either one embodies Odette though. However they're both wicked like Odile, so that role would suit them much better. With a sigh, I scribble my name under Odette, then reluctantly under Odile too. I knew I was going to have to compete with them for the lead role, but it doesn't make it any easier to accept. It just meant more petty drama ahead.

A pair of arms slide around my waist and pull me back against them. I smile as Theo presses a kiss to my cheek. "Hey."

"Hi," I turn my head slightly to kiss him.

"You weren't at your locker. What's up?"

I nod toward the audition sheet. "Just signing up for the winter ballet. It's Swan Lake this year," I can't help but frown and Theo notices.

"Not a fan?"

"It's not that it's just..." I sigh. "They split the lead role this year. Which sounds great in retrospect but that just means more competition."

Theo furrows his brow. "Remind me who's the lead again?"

"Odette and Odile. But it's usually played by one person. This year it'll be two people dancing."

"Okay...so what's the problem?"

"I have to sign up for the lead because of my mom but Noelle and Lucy also signed up...which means I have to go up against them."

"Ohhh," understanding dawns on Theo's face. "You're worried you won't get the part?"

"No. I'm worried I will."

Theo furrows his brows. "Wait, now I'm confused. That just means you're the better dancer. Isn't that a good thing?"

"I mean yeah, but it also makes me enemy number one. Remember how you made that joke about ballet being a competitive sport? You weren't that far off..."

"That's...wow," Theo shakes his head. "I had no idea being good at something could actually turn out to be bad thing," he looks thoughtful. "If you don't want to stir the pot why don't you just sabotage your audition?"

I smile sadly. "I can't. My mom will know I fucked up on purpose."

And I don't even want to think about what will happen if I don't get one of the lead roles.

My stomach twists in anxiety and I move away from Theo. So much is riding on this year, and now that Juilliard is out of the picture I need to land a spot in a ballet company after graduation or else my life will be over. I won't be able to dance and then my mother will disown me and I have no other talents or skills-

"Hey," Theo snaps me from my frazzled thoughts. "Breathe. It's okay." I don't even realize I was starting to hyperventilate which makes me panic more. Theo wraps an arm around me and I hold him tightly, taking deep lungfuls of air.