Let's Mutually Not Kill Each Other

When I Get Free I Will Kill You

When I awoke, my position on their ship was made very clear to me.

"Cargo," said the small furry beast in front of me.

I was lying sideways on the cold floor of someone's humming ship. A large window — the front shield — gave me a spectacular view of the stars on the other side of it. Unmoving. We were hanging above the planet. The tall tree-man sat hunched over the second of two control panels in a chair that was far too small for him.

The weasel stood over me with a smug look on his face and a very large gun on his back, his arms crossed over his small chest.

"You're cargo on this ship, and nothing you do can convince me otherwise. Don't talk, or we'll stuff something in your mouth. And trust me, a lot of the things on this ship are not meant to be in someone's mouth." He kicked a fist-sized metal object on the ground and it rolled to bump my face. Point made.

The rodent was sturdily built, with strong-looking arms and a tight-fitting jumpsuit. I looked again to the enormous gun strapped to his back and smiled.

"Your weapon is nearly as tall as you are. I think you're compensating for something."

His face contorted in surprise, then anger.

"Why, you little-"

He turned angrily to his companion.

"Did she not hear what I just said about not talking?" He leaned down and inspected my face. "She has ears, all right."

He stalked around the cabin for a moment, mumbling to himself. I distinctly heard him say, "I am not compensating for something."

I was rattling him. Good. Let them become so annoyed that they decide to leave me on the nearest habitable planet. I'd figure the rest out from there. Or, if I could somehow remove these bonds...

They had bound my legs together and my arms behind my back with some sort of metallic rope. It burned.

If I could remove them, though, I could easily take down the rat. His tree friend, though, might provide a more difficult target.

"How about this," I said, snapping the rodent out of his angry trance. "You let me go and I won't kill you. Freeing me is just compensation for saving your life twice."

He stopped and stared at me, then let out a long, hysterical laugh that must have been at least partly forced. He sounded like a dying animal.

"That's a fake laugh," I mumbled.

"Oh, it's real, I assure you. It's real because you are the most clueless captive I've ever taken aboard my rig. Can you believe this gal, Groot?"

"I am Groot."

"And?" I asked him, annoyed. That was all the tree ever said.

"You'll have to excuse my companion, here. He don't know talking good like you and me."

"Get a dictionary," I shot at him.

"I am Groot."

"And I'm about to kick your ass. Get ready."

I struggled against the metal bonds, but they only burned hotter the more I moved.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you."

I glared at him.

He glared back.

"All right, princess. Time for the shed."

"What's the shed?"

"Shut up."

He motioned for his friend, and the tree-man hoisted me off the ground and over his shoulder so that my only view was the ceiling full of coils and wires and panels.