Red lights (soukoku)

six feet under

Dazai felt numb and tears flowing down his face,he couldn't move one finger(hahaha remember chuuya saying that in dead apple).he wasn't energised to move and then yosano came to the scene ,she exactly knew what was doing on.the fragile body against dazai's body,the overwhelming tears flowing out and the cold expression he placed on his face.

"Dazai-san you have to let go of the body"

Something was building up in his stomach, the guilt and his emotions mixing together,osamu felt like throwing up but he was still so still,dazai couldn't breathe.the pain was unbearable, his love in his arms cold and pale but the bright fiery hair still burned a lovely colour.

Four men picked chuuya up and walked away with him.Kunikida ran over towards yosano and dazai after he saw the men carrying the body away.

"Dazai who was that?"

Dazai was completely silent,he was drained out.kunikida sighed and just picked up dazai to his feet dragging him to the other end of the battlefield.they crossed over mori and suddenly dazai had a burst of energy.he ran to mori and grabbed him by the red scarf changing his facial expression for plain to a insane burning face of pure irritation.

"YOU TOLD HIM TO DIDN'T YOU!YOU TOLD CHUUYA TO USE CORRUPTION AND DIE"

"Osamu dazai it is not my fault you didn't reach chuuya on time,it is yours to blame",mori stared at dazai with an eerie grin.

He felt as if his world was crumbling down.was it his fault that chuuya died?he let go of mori and stepped back only to notice koyo next to him.she was a flowing waterfall running to dazai hugging him so tight that he could feel the air escaping his lungs.dazai didn't resist knowing that koyo was a mother figure to chuuya and probably feeling worse than him.

"HE'S GONE! MY PRECIOUS BOY IS GONE!" (getting cedric diggory vibes hehehe)

"HE LOVED YOU SO MUCH DAZAI HE LOVED YOU!"

This brung dazai to feel dead inside hearing chuuya's own mother screaming the truth and that the word 'loved' meant he was truly gone.dazai looked so broken and upset, just when he confessed to chuuya the guy died in front of him.

"koyo let's go back" mori said in a calm manner. Koyo followed his orders but before she left, Koyo whispered into dazai ear saying, 'read his diary and understand chuuya's feelings. He loves you'

Dazai nodded and everyone left with Mori winning by an unconscious Fukuzawa.

.......

After a few days, at chuuya's funeral.

Both the armed Detective agency and the port mafia went to see chuuya. Dazai wore his old port mafia uniform without his black jacket since he burned it after leaving but dazai still wanted to wear the rest because it made him a little closer to chuuya.

A simply balck suit with a fresh white shirt,he left his hair cover parts of his face to cover the tears and the bags under his eyes.he never thought chuuya would die before hims since he was known as the suicidal maniac, he felt empty inside, a cold hole in his body the memories were withering away alongside chuuya but dazai couldn't handle the sorrows. He lived his life being controlled and set grand expectations towards his name. Ever since he was a young boy he was feed stress and anxiety. The only freedom he had was chuuya back then. The teasing and missions were thrilling. He felt loved but hated at the same time.he still hadn't read the diary and planned to after everyone leaves so he came to read it with chuuya alone.

Everyone gathered around the coffin While The professionals dug up a hole where chuuya's coffin would stay.people were hugging each other and crying,koyo was a mess.her hair was unbrushed and her eyes were puffed up with a shine gloss of tears.the unsteady breathing left her feeling dizzy and weak.her baby is now dead.he was family.chuuya was always a strong guy but soft around people he trust,koyo was one and she felt lucky knowing that chuuya trusted her.

Mori looked unfazed and perfectly fine,he slipped a small smile knowing that he was at chuuya's funeral.(what a bitch!)

Funeral.. Death....afterlife...too stressful to handle until you reach death and it's too late to go back.

After an hour the funeral ended but dazai stayed to read the diary with chuuya.

Everyone respected that and koyo decided to join dazai.both koyo and dazai were now sitting next to chuuya going through the diary.

.........

'Stupid mackeral '

'She tied me down'

'For some shitty reason i want dazai'

'I want to die'

'I wonder if i get to see that waste of bandages before my next mission'

'Koyo is my mother'

'Mother.mum'

'The nurse is scary'

'I want to get out'

'I wish shiitty dazai was there with me '

These were some of the phrases that stood out to them.dazai ached knowing chuuya was wishing he was there in the hospital.for once in his life chuuya actually begged for something but he didn't get it.dazai wasn't around.after dazai left the port mafia everything went wrong for chuuya,the overwhelming missions and he couldn't get a new partner because no one was joining the mafia.he looked well made and put together but inside chuuya was always hurting and rotting away without dazai but now he dead cold and a corpse truly rotting physical.

"You were good to him",koyo said with a reassuring smile.even when something horrible happens she has the ability to calm others.

"I'm the reason he's dead,i couldn't save him even though he was begging for help..."

Koyo wrapped her arms around dazai's head,his head on her shoulder as he cried for another 30 minutes.

They both left chuuya leaving a small bouquet of red roses ,camellia and a letter from dazai.

dear chuuya 

slug i can't believe you out of all people would die before me.i'm sorry. i am the reason you are dead and everyone crying,i should have been there to stop you earlier,maybe that would have made a difference and you would be in my arms.

i'm sorry for leaving you in the first place without saying goodbye and bombing your car.i knew if you found out i was gone you would try to find me.i really wanted to say something to you before leaving but that would have made it harder for me to leave.i didn't think about your emotions and thoughts and then soon enough you ended at the hospital with that nurse. she touched you and did unthinkable actions but i was never there to comfort you or protect you.i love you so much but i wasn't enough to keep you alive and now koyo is suffering . you really are resting in peace finally.hopefully one of my suicidal attempts work and i'll be with you some day.

forever more your mackerel  Osamu Dazai 

................

it's almost four and i have school ughhh i'll make the next chapter soon dw