Who to Trust?

Ch 4 - I'm Not Okay

Previously on Who to Trust?

As much as I would have liked to have gone to sleep, I just couldn't. The smirking, devil-like image of Corpse was stuck in my head. I could still feel his muscles coiling and striking at Lucas. It was engraved into my memory. When I thought back to the face he made when he was looking at Lucas, just oozing dominance... The lump in my throat from last night seems to have made a reappearance. I don't know what this feeling is, the same feeling I felt last night when Corpse first walked through the crowd.

It took a while, but I managed to fall into a light slumber, Corpse still at the forefront of my mind. That feeling of dominance and his devilish face. It was... new.

~=Chapter contains self-harm=~

~=Corpse=~

It's been an eventful week, that's for sure. Finding your girlfriend cheating on you, then finding out she's been doing it for three months prior? That was crap. Going dark on Twitter, twitch and youtube? That part honestly felt good, not going to lie about that one. I haven't even bothered to charge my phone. It was refreshing. Not having to worry about all of the responsibilities and whatnot. Too bad it all came crashing down when there was a knock at my door. The ever-present mask in my back pocket was already on my face before I was near the door. Opening it, however, was something I wasn't entirely expecting. Sean and Lexi stood there rather awkwardly, not really sure how to greet me. I didn't realise how long I had stayed silent until I watched Sean step forward.

"Hey, Corpse. Uhh, how are-" Sean was trying to be nice and I respected him for it, but I just wasn't in the mood.

"How did you get my address?" My voice rumbling deeply within my chest. I watched as a look akin to hurt crossed each of their faces, I inwardly winced, but didn't show any outward sign. They were intruding on my privacy here, I didn't owe them anything. Well, maybe Lexi because she fixed my hand.

"Umm. BoyinaBand gave it to us." Dave gave it to them? I swear I'm going to shank the bastard when he comes here next. "Everyone's been worried. You haven't been answering your phone, dm's or anything!" I could tell Sean was just concerned about me, but them invading my "safe space" has put me in a bad mood. "And that gave you the right to come to my house?" I didn't have the energy to sugar coat things, I just wanted to be left alone. Like it should have always been.

"Corpse, you're being unreasonable. We get that you're upset about... Lacy, but..." I could tell my expression had darkened because Lexi stopped speaking. She had this... look on her face that I've never seen before. Strange.

"I think I earned the right to be unreasonable for at least a month, all things considered. Please leave. You've seen me and you can see that I'm fine. I'm healthy. Now, if you would be so kind..." I left the end of the sentence hanging, hoping they'd get the message. Fortune seemed to rain on me.

"Okay. I'll see you around? Twitter? Discord? Have a game or two?" Sean's voice was hopeful. Damn, if they don't leave now, I might cave. Once again, it seems as though fortune was upon me. Or misfortune, I don't know at this point. "Maybe." The one word that came out of my mouth didn't put either of them at ease. Lexi still had a dazed look on her face while Sean's lips turned into a thin line before he nodded after a couple of seconds. "Talk to you later." With that, he started walking back towards wherever it was that they parked their car, dragging Lexi with him.

I didn't wait for them to leave my front yard. Closing the door and locking it, I immediately moved to the bathroom. Holy shit I'm about to throw up. The stress that the whole situation had caused was unknown to me at the time, but it's all caught up to me now. I sat by the toilet, on the verge of bringing up what little I had for breakfast this morning. The feeling passed quickly, only a couple of seconds before my stomach settled itself. I moved in front of the sink and washed my hands. Turning the tap off, I looked up into the mirror. What the fuck is wrong with me? They are trying to help. I'm just a huge fucking mess. I studied my face for a few moments before anger started to manifest within my gut. I fucking hate that face. I could feel myself breathe harshly in and out of my nose. Holy shit, I need to break something.