Twizzlers (MxMxM)

Chapter 26 - Memories and Dreams Hurt

"My father believed that being a beta meant that we had to be tough and emotionless. Showing emotion was weakness and the right-hand man of the alpha shouldn't be weak. He drove this listen into me from the moment I could walk and talk.

"As a child, I wasn't allowed to show emotions around my father. If I did, he'd often yell at me and lock me away in my room until I calmed down. He never hit me, but that didn't make it any less scary to a small child. It was how I perfected my straight face from an early age. Showing weakness in front of my father was terrifying, so I avoided it.

"Then there was my mom. I loved my mom. I look like her. She was so sweet and loving. She encouraged me to feel my emotions and behave like the child I was. My father often left us to do beta duties, so my mom and I were always together. Once I became friends with Erin, it was just the three of us a lot of the time since Erin's mom was busy with alpha duties as well. My father never let Mom work; he said it wasn't her job."

As I told my story, my mates idly touched me. Before I began, we laid down in the bed and pulled up the blanket. Then, they smothered me with touches. I didn't mind it, but I couldn't tell them that. Talking about my family was...hard. Erin knew only because he'd been involved in my life since we were little kids. He was often around when my father yelled at me while my mom tried to calm him down and remind him that I was just a child. He never listened.

"When I was older, my mom fell ill. You don't usually hear about werewolves falling ill, but she was the unfortunate exception. The more her health deteriorated, the further my father pulled away from us. He buried himself in work and ignored me. I had to take care of both Mom and myself since he didn't even bother to leave his office enough to see his dying wife," I said, cursing myself for how bitter I became at the end.

"It's okay, Aaron. Keep going," Aubrey encouraged.

"I don't get why he didn't comfort or support her. He looked for a cure, sure, but not once did I see him stay by her side for more than five minutes. He...he let her die. She died a few years ago. Even after we tried our best to save her, we couldn't. I was devastated. My relationship with my father—whatever was left of it at least—deteriorated and we barely spoke after that. He trained me to become a beta, but he treated me like I was nothing. He still does."

I let out a bitter laugh and looked up at the ceiling. Evander ran his hand through my hair and the familiar action eased my body. Aubrey rested his head on my chest and traced small circles on my arms. I didn't realize it, but talking about this was helping me more than I thought it ever could. "The last time my father and I spoke was when I had to put my duties on hold to help out with the Eye issue. That was months ago now. I don't mind it. We were never close. He made sure of that. That's why you've never met him before, either. He doesn't care enough to meet you and I don't want him to meet you."

"If you don't mind me asking, what does that have to do with you making a bad or good father?" Evander asked. "You are not your father."

"But, I was raised by him. Or rather, he was the only father figure I really had. Alpha James was there, but I didn't see him often. And he wasn't the one who gave life to me. What if I treat my children the way I was treated? What if I can't be vulnerable with them because I was never allowed to be as a child?"

"Aaron," Evander said gently.

I peeked up at him carefully. He reached out and cupped my cheek while staring into my eyes. "You don't have to be afraid. You'll have us there to help you out. And we won't allow you to become your father."

"And you're not mean like him," Aubrey added, cuddling into my chest "You're really nice. You care. Even if you pretend like you don't, we know the truth. You won't be mean to your kids."