The Circus Freak - and the boy who was afraid of clowns

Eighteenth Chapter

                        THAT NIGHT, VALDO DID NOT SLEEP, HE KEPT LOOKING AT THE SKY speckled with stars, all very close together, emanating a different light.  A tear clouded his vision, dressing a lonely further star with a huge silver arch. The once strong and confident man allowed tiredness to beat him at last. Valdo felt exhausted, hurt with his loss, and uncomfortable with the disrespect of his colleagues who had found out the true identity of Natália. They did not respect his mourning; there were whispering, everyone talked about Valdo being cheated on. Some said he had always known about Natália selling her body. Maybe his colleagues were more evil than the murderous monster. Natália's murderer killed her not knowing who she was, he was driven by his mental disease, by his evilness. That did not apply to Valdo's friends. They did not have the right of being cruel. They should honor their friend.

                        The wind blew stronger making the wooden window close, like trying to protect him from missing his Natália. Valdo stood up from the couch, then walked with his head down towards the small window that opened itself. He wanted to contemplate that one different star. The pure light that shone from the star reminded him of Natália's fair skin.

                        Tears escaped from his eyes.

                        The next day, Valdo did not feel like crying anymore. He did not feel fear, instead, he didn’t feel like anything at all, empty.. He remembered Natália all the time, but the feeling of punishing the herald of his disgrace, the man that announced the death of his feelings and hopes, filled his soul with vigor and took over his mind. Valdo went to the warehouse and grabbed a box he had hidden from Natália. A tiny chest hand-dyed by his aunt who used to love handcrafting. It had been used for years as a tiny first aid box, but Natália had banished its content. The box now hid Valdo's illicit drugs.

                        As he opened the wooden box, he stared at four white capsules of steroids, and smiled harshly saying: "This will work for now!"

                        Valdo could feel the psychological effects of the drug two hours after he had injected the hormones. He felt his pulsing muscles and the dilated vessels of the forearm. The air he inhaled smelled like something brand new. His self-reliance grew quickly inside of him. He felt like hitting something, even like killing someone, killing the man who took his Natália away.

                        As he entered Casa Grande nightclub, in the Capim Macio district, the first woman he saw was Natália's most inseparable friend. Paula was wearing bright blue jeans that seemed to have been dyed and had many metal ornaments sewn on. Her blouse was a smaller size, to expose her pierced belly button, with a small, cheap glass stone. He saw Paula sit on one of the client's laps at the bar. The client was a short man with a mustache, he had very green eyes that shone, looking around not knowing which belle he should aim at. Paula threw her long, curly hair back. It ran down disarranged to one side. Her sensuality was destroyed by a sudden astonished look on her face. The adulteress face caught in the act. Paula sneaked off the short man's lap and quickly stood up, then she straightened her hair as if it would be possible to change her appearance to be less vulgar at that instant. 

                         

                        "Are you feeling better?" Paula appeared to be concerned, tapping Valdo, the cop, on the shoulder.

                        "Time kills the pain, one day I will forget. But that's not why I came here."

                        “Don't tell me that you came here to..." Paula's eyes opened some more, and then frowned, staring at Valdo for a while. A cynical smile adorned her face.