The Circus Freak - and the boy who was afraid of clowns

Fifth chapter

FIFTH    CHAPTER 

RENATO WENT TO SLEEP VERY LATE DUE TO HIS CURIOSITY ABOUT observing his mother sleeping with Leandro. The two slept in the living room. He was tired of working all day, and fell asleep after two shots of cheap whiskey. She slept drugged with brandy and lust. 

            Renato slept with the light on, free from the threat of the Fire Dragons. He woke up early, scared. He had dreamt of his mother saying repeatedly: “The money for the light is the money for the bread!”

            He sat on the bed and stared once more at the innocuous lamp. He sighed with relief; he was sober and conscious now. His mother, who had been excited about her new lover, had forgotten to give him theophylline the night before.  Renato felt much better. Doctor Leandro's treatment seemed to be working indeed. He hadn't been short of breath for three days.

            He got up. He opened the door and peeked; at the end of the hall he could see both bodies still asleep. He closed the door again, making noise on purpose, expecting his mother to wake up.

            It was a school day. He brushed his teeth, and took a shower. Renato was a responsible boy with his school work. He was upset about his teacher complaining that he wasn't paying attention. He felt proud that he was one of the best students in his class. He gave thanks to his mother for being constantly demanding of him and always disciplining him.

            The humid nape; the shirt collar wet with water and perfume, that came down from her straight hair. The books and notebooks were arranged in order on the previous day.

            He heard sounds of a shower, a door closing, a blender running.  His mother was preparing couscous and eggs, a banana shake and chocolate milk.  He entered the kitchen; he saw bananas and oranges in a basket on the table. He saw the sugar and butter dish set. He saw the tablecloth embroidered by Renato's grandmother, which meant that his mother wanted to please. 

            Renato concluded that Jaciara had not noticed the light on. 

            “Whenever she drinks, she stops complaining!” He concluded. He wanted his mother to drink and have a date every day.

***

            Brenda awoke to a terrible stench; she was suffocated by the smell of urine and rat feces.  Nauseous – lying on a thin old mattress – she felt the wooden platform bed hurting her back.  Her hands were tied behind her back, making it difficult to get up.

            The image of the fat man, with his eyes open, dead on the floor of his living room, crept into her mind. She looked around. The lamp was suspended by two half-bare wires, one was white and the other green, and there was a patch covered with tape. The peeling wall was infiltrated with mud in every corner.

            Mold and rat feces. 

            The moonlight, enhanced by its reflection on the waters of the bay of Salvador, was streaming in through the rusty window.  The girl walked closer to the window. She could see the church of Nosso Senhor do Bonfim now. She knelt down, and asked the Lord to spare her life. To take her back to her parents, forgive the bad men, and soften their hearts.  She felt her little heart palpitate. She feared for her safety, she was afraid and disgusted by the place.  She was terrified at the thought that this was it.  The eight-year-old had never lost anyone, and understood death to be something elusive and distant.  Just like any child her age, she fantasized about the immortality of her parents, not in a conscious way, but through the omission of morbid thoughts.  But all innocence was gone. She had heard well when the damn clown threatened to kill Bruno.  – PAH – the dry gunshot at the fat man.  It could have been my father, she thought. She prayed to the Lord, for the safety of her parents, for their salvation, for redemption.  She remembered the tall clown's gun, insinuating itself between the breasts of her mother... And what if he had pulled the trigger?  She fantasized about being the tragic orphan, as she had seen in movies on TV. She feared the cruelest reality had befallen her.  Despair gripped the girl’s mind. She yelled for help: