blue and grey ~ KSJ

Chapter 1

(y/n)'s POV
I woke up at about 10am and groaned; I didn't want to get out of bed. It kind of felt like I was being held down; however, I remembered that Jin was supposed to be coming over in a couple of hours, which was enough motivation for me to sit up and stretch on my bed for a few minutes. He hadn't come to visit me in a few months now. I don't blame him; It's partially my fault. I've just been so busy these days. I groggily stood up and opened my wardrobe, searching for a good outfit. I actually have a good fashion sense, you know? I took my time, and, after a few minutes of diligent searching, I finally found an outfit. A white shirt, like something they'd give you at school, and a grey pleated skirt with suspenders. I wasn't trying to be 'edgy' or 'emo' per se, I just like the colour grey. Always have. I spun around and giggled to myself as my skirt flowed in the air.
I looked back before closing my door. My room was a mess, but I didn't have time to clean it. Hopefully Jin wouldn't need to come in here. I decided to be productive today and make some breakfast, so I skipped to my kitchen. As I cracked an egg on my frying pan, I thought of Jin's upcoming visit, if he would be excited to see me, or what we could talk about. I didn't have many interesting stories to tell. My daily routine usually consists of waking up, doing work, having some dinner and sleeping. Not very eventful. On the bright side, I was saving up for therapy. I noticed my egg begging to cook, so I flipped it over, and let it fry for a little bit before picking it up with my spatula and placing it onto a plate I retrieved from the cupboard a few minutes beforehand. I sat down on my sofa before cutting the egg into pieces and eating them slowly, making sure to not choke.
When I finished my egg, I added the plate to the pile of dishes in my sink; it made me feel slightly bad about myself once again but I tried to forget about it. I sat on my sofa again and scrolled on my phone, specifically Twitter for a few minutes, before I heard a knock on my door. I suspected that it was Jin, and got a little overexcited. I jumped up and unlocked the door, to see him standing there, in a dark blue bucket hat and rounded glasses, with an oversized light blue sweater with blue denim jeans. Looking down, I saw chunky trainers in dark blue and white, accompanied with teal.
"Jin!!" I yelled. Without hesitation, I wrapped my arms around his chest in a tight hug. He chuckled and grabbed my waist in response, lifting me up like he used to do when we were little.
"You've lost weight." he commented.
In all honesty, my mental health had gotten a lot worse since I moved out. On one hand, I didn't have to deal with my parents anymore. On the other hand, college had been very pressuring, and so had been saving up for therapy. I felt hopeless these days, and I picked up a habit of pinching, biting or scratching my wrist when I was stressed. I didn't leave any marks on my skin, so I was pretty sure it wasn't that big of a deal. If it made me feel better, who cares, right? Anyways, all this stress means I lost some weight.
"Oh, I've been exercising recently. You always say you want me to be healthy, right?" I lied.
He frowned a little. "Yeah, but you look more like you haven't eaten! Look at you, where've your chubby cheeks gone, huh?" He pinched my cheek as he said this.
I chuckled. "Jin, you need to stop overreacting. I'm fine, really!" It may have been a bit manipulative of me to say this, but I couldn't have him finding out the truth.
"Wow, you've done a great job at keeping this apartment clean, haven't you?" Jin said sarcastically, eyeing the pile of dishes in my sink. I rolled my eyes at him. He walked over to my sink and put some gloves on, then grabbed a scrubber.
"Oh, you don't have to! I can handle it myself." Well, that was a lie, but I didn't want Jin to do my dishes while we were meant to be having fun. On the other hand, they'd probably never get done otherwise. When I had time to do chores, I didn't, because I just didn't have the motivation.
"Darling, these are never going to get done. I know you." He teased...Ouch. I nodded. l sat on my couch, and sighed. I don't know why, but I felt the need to be away at that moment.
"I need the bathroom." I lied, once again. 'I should probably stop doing that' I thought to myself. Nonetheless, I sprinted to the bathroom and sat against the wall. I know he didn't mean it, but Jin's words hurt me sometimes. He's an angel, He would never hurt anyone intentionally, but he didn't get it. I suppressed a sob and tried to collect my emotions. Looking around in the bathroom, I saw a rubber duck from my early childhood that I called Jiminie. It sounds silly, but he comforted me sometimes when Jin wasn't there. I stood up slowly, walking over to Jiminie and petting his plastic upturned beak. I felt ready to go back downstairs at that point, so I ventured back to see Jin happily humming a song to himself while cleaning my dirty dishes. I couldn't help but feel like a bit of a burden; he was cleaning my dishes when he could've been out having fun with his friends, or mom and dad. I cringed at the thought, but still began to feel more and more guilty.
"It's fine, really..." I muttered.
He shook his head and smiled. "I told you, I want to help out! It's okay, really." He ruffled my hair. I felt a little bit like crying in that moment. It was a cycle; I'd get upset for some reason, then get upset at myself for being weak and getting upset. 'Not this again...' I thought to myself. I brainstormed frantically, wondering what to do to get out of this situation.
Aha, a plan! A foolproof one, at that. Well, almost.
"Jinnie~" I whined.
He turned to look at me, and I pouted innocently.
"How much will it cost me?" He chuckled in response to my facial expression.
"Your arms." I responded. "Carry me to bed, I'm tired."
"Oh, fine. Lazy girl." He responded, and scooped me up.
In my mind, If I was asleep, I wouldn't have to deal with this mess. It was only a temporary solution, but I would worry about the bigger picture later.
"You're room's a mess too, huh?" He remarked.
"Shut up, you whore." I murmured, starting to get genuinely tired.
"Language, missy."
As Jin lay me down on my bed, he noticed my savings jar. Luckily, It didn't have a label of any sort, so he obviously didn't suspect it was for therapy.
"Saving your money, hmm? Can't believe my sister's actually being responsible for once. What you saving up for?" He questioned. In a moment of panic, I faked being asleep so I wouldn't have to repsond to Jin's question. He noticed, and kneeled down next to my bed to kiss me on the forehead. He usually did this; he would wait until no one was around to be more affectionate. I heard a switch as the light in my room turned off, and he left the room. God... Finally.