Pain, Love & Desire

Chapter 10| Nothing Lasts In College

It was a boring Saturday, I finished all my homework for the week and I started on some projects. I have been seeing Ryan everyday after my classes to see how he's doing, I know I technically broke up with him but that didn't change how much I care about him.

My motto has always been don't be friends with someone that likes you because they will only like you more. But in this case, I didn't want to completely abandon him.

His doctor said he seemed well enough to go home in a few days which I'm thankful for. Ryan being Ryan wanted to leave since I first saw him in the hospital but I basically begged him not to do.

He had a bruised rib and a concussion, I never asked what he did to make Jace angry enough to put him in his current condition because I'm not sure I want to find out.

I decided to go see him today, I had nothing to do and I would be able to spend more time with him than I did during the week. I know he enjoyed my company and I never wanted to leave him hanging. I never paid attention to if he had any friends at this college yet, So I had no way of knowing if I was his only visitor

Standing in front of his hospital room, I saw him looking at the little TV through the window. The TV had no good channels but it was a source of entertainment. I pushed open the door giving him a cheesy smile.

"Hey fighter" I said giving him a hug.

"Hey heartbreaker" he laughed.

Every time I see him he brings up the breakup. Guilt overtakes me every time because I know how much he is hurting, I sometimes wish I could take it all back but I would only be hurting both of us.

I sat down placing my bag next to me. "So how are you ranking your pain levels today?" I asked changing the subject.

He sat up handing me the chart that housed the answer to my question.

I studied it seeing that he ranked all the areas of his body at 1 for pain levels.

"Woah this is good!!" I peered.

"Yeah, but there still forcing me to stay in this hellhole. I want to go home." He replied

"Aren't you a little nervous that...." I start. Ryan sighs sitting up on the hospital bed.

"No. I'm not a wimp Elysia" He said sternly.

"Jace is scary, I'm not afraid to admit it either." I replied throwing up my hands.

"He's not the type to come back around for a rerun."

"whatever you say. What's your involvement with him anyway?" I ask. I haven't told Ryan that Jace told me he was in the Mafia. I know that If Jace was in the mafia, Ryan had to somewhat be also.

"Just some unhealed wounds." He said shifting away from me. I expected him to open up to me, finally tell me the truth, he did the complete opposite. We sat in silence, only the faint sounds of the TV in our background until his phone started ringing next to me. I was reaching to pick it up.

"Don't" He almost yelled. He jumped up almost pulling out his IV.

He was only going to bruise his rib more if he continued to move around so much , I picked up his phone seeing Sydney's name across the screen. I "Relax its just Syd. I never knew you guys had each others number though" I say.

Ryan was still antsy and nervous. "Don't answer it" He presses

I threw my hands over my chest dramatically." How dare you tell me not to answer the phone for my bestfriend."

I grabbed the phone sliding my thumb to the green button, making sure to put it on speaker.

"He-"

"Hey I'm sorry babe, we can finish our conversation from earlier now, I had some dishes to clean." Syd said through the phone

Its as if everything around me stopped moving. The phone dropped hard against the floor causing a miniscule crack. I look at Ryan waiting for a explanation of what I just heard. I wanted to know why my best friend was calling my ex boyfriend "Babe" and we've only been broken up a week.

"Ellie" He said. he was now on the corner of his hospital bed looking directly at me. He was trying to come up with a excuse where what she said would be okay.

Babe... wow. I never knew Syd would betray me like this. She was my closest friend and here she is probably fucking my ex boyfriend. I was running every scenario through my head where the words that she just said would be justified. There isn't any.

"Baby? Are you there" Syd said into the phone. Lying bitch. I picked up the phone off of the ground, ending the call before chucking it at Ryan's chest causing his chest to cave in because of the pain. "So are you guys together all of a sudden?" I spoke.

"No." He winced still holding his chest.

"Did you fuck her?" I fumed. I was not looking towards Ryan. My eyes were welling up with tears as my eyes burned holes through the window.

"Uh..yes." He whispered.

"You couldn't fuck her now, you can barely stand up so when did you have sex with her Ryan?" I readjusted letting my chin rest on my hand.

"Two weeks ago.." He spoke.

I grabbed my bag standing up, ready to walk out the door. Before leaving I turned to him. "To think you tried to make me feel guilty for breaking up with you, and you were cheating with my best friend??" I let go of the door handle walking up to him, before thinking I punched him. Letting all my anger release in that one powerful punch.

I kneeled down to his ear. "I hope you rot in here." I whispered.

I left the hospital fuming with anger. I didn't know how to handle Sydney. That hurt worst than anything. We've been friends for 13 years. It felt like it's all went to waste. All the memories, the tears the laughs It didn't add up to the betrayal I was left feeling as I sat in my car, my head pounding, not knowing what to do or who to call.

I starting driving, gripping my hands to the steering wheel until my knuckles were almost white, I looked down at my lap to see my phone vibrating and Sydney covering the screen.