When you Can't Sleep at Night (Of Mice & Men Austin Carlile Fanfic)

√ Chapter 1 - We've got a jumper

I've had it. I can't handle this town or the people in it anymore! My name is Lyric. My life was all I knew and I stood idle for years watching it crumble around me. I'm not perfect. I'm not cheerful. I am alone. I stand in the darkness of the clouds that cover the sun. There is no light. There is no hope. Darkness shrouds you and leaves you feeling empty inside. Hope is all I searched for. Something so unknown to me. Hope. What did it feel like? Was it warm? Fulfilling? I probably will never know.

Some say life is like a garden, each flower is a person you've met. My garden is small and rough, so uncared for. I am a dandilion, a weed in other's gardens only to be pulled by the roots and forgotten about for the rest of time. I have no family left who will talk to me. I'm an utter disgrace to them.

My boss even fired me because I wouldn't speak to coworkers. My car was recently towed because of financial problems.

My roommate was even sick of my clinical depression, so she kicked me out.

At this very moment I stand on the edge, over the river that will drown me. Snow flakes are gently falling to the ground. The wind gently caressing my face and cradleing my face as my lover once did. I an truely alone. I will he until the end. God please forgive me, I am not strong enough to bare this burden placed upon me.

My empty eyes scanned the cold black water under me. Tonight I will be forgotten and for the better. To night I will die.

I raised my arms and glanced to the snowy city around me. I turned my body so my back was to the ledge. I leaned and ready to enter free fall. I closed my eyes and opened then once again trying to take in the world one last time. I had just entered free fall and started knocking on deaths door. Good bye. Everything felt still as I fell. Time felt as if it slowed. I was then startled by someones shout.

"NO!" I peeked to my left and a man came rushing to the spot where I was slowly falling. He clasped onto my wrist and didn't let go.

He was beautiful short brown hair and beautiful brown eyes. He had the look of determination in his eyes. For once in my life I felt something. Something soothing. Something joyful. Was this "something" hope?

I felt reborn. I was lost but now I am found. I felt as if a million pounds had been lifted off my shoulders just by looking into his eyes.

I snapped back to reality. I was still dangling from the bridge with him as my only link to life.

I felt myself begin to panic. When his soothing voice began to fill my ears.

"I am not going to let you fall. Don't panic okay?" I looked back to this beautiful tattooed human being. I gave a simple nod of my head.

He began to pull my slender body back up. Who is this man? Why did he save me? My feet met the bridge yet again. My pale face must have had 'shame' or 'guilt' written all over it because he began to gaze at me in pity. I inhaled feeling hurt. I began to step away from this guy. I was afraid. I was afraid of his judgement of me.

"I - I don't need your pity." Emotions drained all the good feelings into a familiar emptiness. He scanned me over and simply took me into an embrace. He held me gently as if I was a delicate flower.

"I don't know you or your story but I do know that you must have been hurt badly. I know you tried and everything didn't go your way. But please, I beg you don't do anything like that to yourself. You are one of a kind and you'd regret it." He sounded like he could relate. Each word was carefully analysed in my brain. He pulled back and gave a sweet smile and continued. "Don't do that to yourself." He reapeted and repeated over and over again.

I simply nodded. He pulled back and began to leave me alone. I wanted him to come back. Please. Please stop. As my begging continued he finally stopped and turned to me one last time. He smiled and tossed me a dogtag necklace. I looked up to him. He peered back at me. Speaking one last time before slipping away. "Don't forget. Me. This. Anything." I nodded.

After he left I looked at the dogtag engraved into it was a name. It read 'Carlile'.

Carlile? Was that his name? A city? Brand? It didn't matter though. He saved me and for that I thank you 'Carlile'.

I placed the necklace around my neck and tucked it away. I was alone here litterally, but mentally I he was with me. For once I seemed genuinely happy. For once someone cared.

I began to walk to some empty bar leaving a trail into the fresh snow. I stepped into the place and sat down at a table and ordered some food. It all happened so quickly.

** hours had passed and I was asked to leave. I have no home anymore.

I began to walk again. This small town seems so empty and run down. I just kept walking until someone had pulled me aside. It was my roommate Medie. She looked guilty and brought me back.

I fell back on my bed and just layed there thinking about him. I decided that I was going to discover who 'Carlile' was. I never mentioned him or my suicide attempt to Medie ever. I thought if I did I'd scare her away.

She was a person who was quick to judge. She wasn't mean. Not at all. She was a kind person truely.

In the darkness I lay, the scent of sweet vanilla drifting in my presence. I thought about happiness. True happiness. And what it meant to me.

I grasped the necklace in my hand, rubbing my thumb of the engraving.

I closed my eyelids and drifted into a state of sleep. Right then and there I was peaceful. So at ease.

I dreampt of a set of hands brushing my hair out of my face. Warm scents of nice colonge filled the air. I stole a glance up to see my mysterious savior caressing my cheeks. I smiled happily and hugged him. Thankyou. Thankyou for everything you have done for me. Our embrace was gentle and warm.

** I was awoken to violent shaking. I turned head to catch a very worried looking Melody .

"Gezz I thought you were dead! You looked so peaceful and it scared me. By the way what happened yesterday before I came and got you? Why are you acting so different?" I took the dogtag in hand and held onto it. I then glanced at Melody and decided it was now or never.

I explained how I felt empty, and wanted to end it all. I explained how I was on the bridge, being caught, and every word he spoke I recited. At first she appeared horrified. I felt a pang of hurt inside me. I thought she was going to kick me out again.

I was ready to get up and leave her forever and find somewhere else to live.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't know. I'm just so sorry!" She caught me off guard. She cared? I thought she was disgusted with me. I then realized she never was. She was disgusted with her own judgement.

What a kind person Medie was. I told her what Carlile guy looked like. We were close now. We were friends. I have Carlile guy to thank for that. For once in my life something went my way.

"I think I love him." She looked at me surprised. I love him. She smiled and told me that she was happy for me.

"Lyric if you want I'll help you search for him and his identity?!" She wanted to help me. I am grateful. I nodded and replied in my small voice.

"Yeah I'd like that." We laughed. "But before we do anything I need go get a job." I wanted to be back on my feet before I ever met him again. Show him what I've become. Successful.

"Oh yeah one of my close friends just opened a recording studio. He said it was okay for you to work there." Melody smiled. She had just offered me a job. My jaw dropped.

"Melody....thank you so much." I began to cry. She wiped away my tears and hugged me.

I will find him. And I will love him until the end. Til death do us part.

I knocked on death's door. I survived, and for a distinct reason... to continue my story. I am Lyric Dreamily, I should be dead but I'm not.

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end of chapter 1. How was it? Good? Bad? Any who picture of Austin Carlile. Song. When you cant sleep at night by of mice & men. Dedicated to Xcrysofthewolfx because she is my best friend and she writes amazing boyxboy books x3 go read her stuff!