Apocalypse | Regulus Black

my side

(Hestia pov)

My parents didn't even know there was a war going on. I didn't have the heart to tell them I was being targeted at school.

I try not to think about Regulus, about how his pale skin and icey blue eyes make me feel as if i'm emerged into cold water

I'm not stupid though, I know he will never want anything to do with me, he's a pureblood, I come from the muggle world. James had always told me blood status didn't matter but with the Blacks it did.

And I understood that. I wasn't going to ask him to give up everything he believed in so he could run off into some fantasy with me

It was my sixth year already. Seems like yesterday McGonagall was at my door

I walked past his compartment. I don't want him to have to pick between me or the family he so desperately wants to get accepted into

So he can have them.

It'll hurt me too much if I tried and he still left.

Distancing myself will make things easier.

Now all I have to do is stop thinking about him. How I want him to kiss me again. stop.

Everything seemed dark, Regulus looked different, don't get me wrong he still looked perfect but he looked different

Syra is a pureblood and has been my best friend since my first year. She tells me that Blacks are as bad as they come

Except Sirius.

In the prefects compartment I can tell he wants to talk to me, and I have so much to say it's like my mouth of overflowing with honey

But I walk away.

Each step away from him feels colder and colder.

I've never been one for gossip, but it seemed like everyone was talking about Regulus.

Becoming a dark wizard. Isn't that how the tale goes?

"You've been avoiding me" He confronted me as I walked out of quidditch practice

"Yes" I wasn't going to lie to him

"Well that's good to know, maybe it's for the best"

Even though that's what I was thinking it hurt coming from him, so I smiled and nodded walking past him

He grabbed my arm, it burned my wrist, but it felt like everything I was missing

Now i'm face to face with him, he's looking at me with those grey eyes that have galaxies trapped inside of them

This feels selfish.

So why does it feel so good.

Hes probably an inch away from my lips.

"I don't want to hurt you"

Oh but Regulus I want you to ruin me.

He gave me a kiss on the forehead and walked away.

I should've ran after him. But I didn't.

Yet everywhere I went I felt that invisible string that tied him to me.

I watched him in the crowds during my games, even though the slytherin team were calling me names.

I didn't need Regulus to be my great protector. I was that on my own.

Or at least I thought I was.

Yet that day when he walked into the great hall with Olivia Bulstrode under his arm it was as if my heart sunk to the bottom of the black lake

They looked like a perfect pureblood couple. She had straight black hair and she even had blue eyes.

I was jealous. I had tried so hard to fit into this world yet that would never be enough, being the top of my class didn't change anything. I was still an outsider

I had potions with both of them. My lab partner was Evan Rosier who was so foul

"I told myself i'd never fuck a mudblood but you might be the only exception"

I hate boys.

I never responded to his comments. I would just continue with my potion.

"Reggie" Olivia would call him.

What an insincere way of being with someone

She wouldn't have baked him a cake on his birthday. I did.

But he has every single right to be with who he wants to be. I just want him to be happy even if that means it's not with me.

I miss my apocalypse.