The Good Captain | Levi x Reader

Chapter Thirty

You awoke to the sounds of quiet but intense sobs, feeling the small man beside you clutching onto your body like a child clinging to his mother. Your heart sank when you saw his tear-streaked face, and he was covered in a cold sweat, making his hair matted. You shook him, and he soon stilled.

This kind of thing had escalated recently. Levi would have nightmares in which something happened to you, and you'd wake up to him clinging to you like it was the reality. It broke your heart to see him like this. You always reassured him you weren't going to die, but today that would be a harder thing to tell him.

Erwin had finally arranged for a new expedition outside the walls to take place. That just happened to be today. After five years without incident, you were confident nothing would go wrong, but you never knew. Plus, you might not be along with Levi the whole time, since you were a squad leader. It was all up to Erwin what happened out there.

Your life was left up to uncertainty. You stroked Levi's hair as he shuttered, still clinging to you. Usually his embrace would feel comforting, but now it felt sickening. You knew there was a possibility of never having this again. Either one or both of you could die out there today. You were less worried about Levi, though. Titans were barely a threat to him. You didn't even know yet how you would handle yourself out there.

Levi took a deep breath. He buried his face in your chest as you continued to pet the back of his head. This kind of thing usually comforted him, but today seemed to be weighing heavily on both of your hearts.

Part of you felt like this was your fault he was feeling bad. If you hadn't gotten close to him, it would been easier for him to remove emotion from his job, but now that's impossible. He will be concerned about where you are and how you're doing the whole time. Levi trusts Erwin wholeheartedly, but sometimes he worries. Erwin is always looking at the big picture, while Levi pays attention to all the details. That's probably why they're such a powerful duo.

Levi looked up at you, your faces only inches away. His eyes were red and puffy, and his dark circles were even more pronounced than usual. "Can we just stay like this all day? Pretend we're not in the military?"

You sighed and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead, tasting his salty perspiration. "You know we can't." You said. He reached his hand to cup your cheek, and you pressed your face into his palm. "We have duties, Levi."

"I know." He said, searching your eyes.

"I know you're worried for me, but I'm strong and you know it. I have all the skills needed to fight titans, and I'm not scared of them."

"You can't say that for sure yet. You haven't fought them up close."

"I'm strong enough. You don't need to worry about me out there."

He mumbled. "Isabel and Furlan were strong, too." It wasn't often he brought up his late friends, so when he did you knew he was gravely serious. You wanted so badly to cure his sorrows but it just seemed impossible at this point. He had convinced himself that you were in danger, and all you could do was try to tell him you would be fine.

He gently rubbed his thumb on your cheek. "Levi, do you trust me?" You said.

"Of course I do."

"Then believe me when I say everything will be fine, okay?" You said, stroking his matted hair.

"You can't control everything that happens out there. No matter how strong you are, titans are still a threat." He said with a shaky voice. "I would never be able to forgive myself if I lost you out there. (Y/N)... I... I can't lose another person. Not again."

You brought his lips to yours and gave him a reassuring kiss. As he closed his eyes tightly, more tears fell from them. He gripped your face hungrily, not wanting this to ever end. This kiss was full of passion, love, and sadness. He poured his frustration into it, letting himself get a little too rough with you. He let his hands roam around your body, running them over your shoulders and your waist. If your bodies weren't already together under the sheets he would have pulled you closer to him.