Remembering to Forget

7

Hey, I just wanted to talk to you about your game. It looks like I might not be able to—

What? No, he can't say that. Way too flippant. She's going to think he really doesn't want to go. Which isn't the case at all, but the stuff with Missy, the crazy turn everything has taken... he doesn't know if he can bring himself to be around all those people.

I would have loved to go to your game, but some stuff has happened at home and—

Ugh. It wasn't working. Dominic shakes his head.

"Hey. I was looking for you."

Dominic jumps about three feet into the air. "Holy shit!"

Julianne laughs at him. "Woah, sorry! You were kinda... lost in thought there, huh?"

"Yeah, I suppose." He looks down at the ground, quickly getting a sick feeling in his stomach, as he's not sure what he needs to say, or how he needs to say it. "You were, uh... you were looking for me?"

"Yeah, I just wanted to talk to you about my... thing. On Saturday."

"Oh." She's looking at him with... pity, he thinks? Whatever it is, he doesn't like it. He appreciates the concern, but he's not meant to be the one that everybody else worries about. And the fact that everybody seems to be so on edge around him is creating feelings in his stomach that he's certainly not comfortable with.

"I've noticed you've been kinda off, recently. I'm not sure what it is. And I get that maybe you are dealing with some other stuff at home or something, so if you can't make it to the game I totally understand."

Well, that solves the problem that he'd agonising over for so long. And yet, with that out of the way, he doesn't feel satisfied. And as he watches her shift uncomfortably, he notices what seems to be a hint of sadness in her features as well.

"I talked to Alyssa a few days ago. About me not turning up last weekend, she said that she had been expecting to see me there. She also said something about next game; apparently she can't make it? She didn't look too happy about it, either." He takes a deep breath, trying to arrange his thoughts so that he knows exactly where he's going with this. "I guess what I'm asking is... why do you want someone there so badly?"

Julianne sighs, and sits down on the ground, with her knees tucked under her chin. Dominic follows suit, so that the two of them are at eye level. "It's kind of a stupid reason."

"I'm sure it's not."

"Like, really stupid. So immature."

"I really don't care. Why are you stalling?"

"I don't know. I just... I've never had to talk about this before. Alyssa always just came along, no questions asked. Or maybe she already knows why I want her to watch so badly." It's a side of her that Dominic has never seen before. She's snarky, smart, talkative, friendly, even violent at times.

Not vulnerable.

"It feels nice to be... appreciated. And I don't mean in the way of, 'oh, thank you for helping me out with this,' or something like that. It's like... it's one of the things that I feel like I'm really good at, that I can really enjoy. And when I'm enjoying it, I want someone to share that with. Someone who I can show the things I really enjoy to. Which is an insanely selfish reason, I know. But my parents have always thought this whole thing was stupid, they keep saying they don't want to be there with me. Alyssa is the only one who'll be there to watch, but I always feel a little bit of regret when I turn towards the stands and there's nobody there to smile back at me, and she can't make it all the time. I guess you were the next one I thought of."