Remembering to Forget

11

Time shuffles along.

Exams draw ever nearer. Dominic becomes even more of a hermit, if possible, speaking only to Missy. He works the minimum 20 hours, as per the agreement with Steven, and nothing more. He completes his homework on time, but ignores the extra credit.

He ignores Julianne, no matter how many times she whispers to him during class.

And outside of class.

And everywhere.

Dominic doesn't want to talk to Julianne, but Julianne certainly seems more than happy to talk to Dominic. Sometimes she discusses deep, important things. Sometimes she rants for 10 minutes about a bird she saw during the class that distracted her. Sometimes she doesn't say anything at all, leaving Dominic alone with her contemplative silence.

"I'm back from suspension this weekend. Coach told me I need to get a hold of my temper, which is probably fair enough."

No response.

"Apparently the team didn't do great without me, though. Maybe they need me. I'll do my best. Will you go to the match?"

No.

"Will you?"

Just stop.

"Well, anyway, I hope it goes well. Alyssa said she couldn't make it, but... well, we'll see. Anyway, I've got to go. Talk to you later!" She waves cheerily, as if pretending the issue isn't there will solve everything.

You'll talk at me. Not to me.

He trudges home. He's feeling absolutely shattered; not just emotional, but physical exhaustion wracks his body. Ignoring Julianne so intently takes a lot of mental strength. He wants to respond, instincts screaming at him to smile back or laugh at her jokes.

He dumps his bag on the floor of the van, and collapses onto the mattress with more force than intended. Missy glances up from her phone, eyebrow raised. "Drama queen."

"Screw you." There's no venom behind the shot, and as Dominic lies down and looks up at the ceiling, he marvels at that. How he can be so distant from Julianne, Alyssa, even James, with whom he's forged a newfound camaraderie, yet he can still act like normal with Missy.

Maybe it's because she's not aware of what happened, so he doesn't feel that awkwardness. And as nice as it is to have someone unaffected to chat with when he gets home, that realisation causes a sense of guilt within him. At the end of the day...

"Hey, Missy."

She deserves to know.

"You know the person who spray-painted our van?" The question is unintentionally rhetorical. "I found out who it was."

Missy is out of her chair immediately, body bouncing with nervous energy. "You found them? We need to do something!" But her bright emotion is dampened slightly when Dominic doesn't move an inch. "Dominic?"

"I... uh... I know the person. It was Julianne. She and a few others got too drunk one night."

She doesn't move for a few moments, mouth ajar slightly. Dominic can't bear to move even slightly and see what he knows will be waves of sympathy for him and outrage. Partially because he knows he's in a constant state of almost losing it, but mostly because he's not entirely sure he deserves that sympathy in the first place.

For someone who wants to be a good person so badly, he was awfully willing to leave Julianne alone in the darkness of her home, when she was clearly in a bad state. She might still be in a bad state; it was obvious to him that her happiness was a façade, which was what accentuated his guilt about the situation in the first place. She was trying.