I'm a Walking Travesty (Adopted by Tony Perry)

Chapter 11

I go up the mounting block with the helmet Alex gave me. My knee is in some pain but I want to do this. I mount the horse and smile. Alex gets on Theo. "Alright, let's go. I know some nice trails down here." He begins trotting and I follow him.

"Keep up if you can." I see him begin cantering and I follow. I feel so free. Suddenly, there is a boom and Theo bucks Alex off. Alex's forehead is bleeding and he looks mostly unconscious. I find myself flying through the air and I land on the ground, barely able to breathe.

Alex is right next to me. "Are you okay?" "I-I can barely breathe and my shoulder hurts." "I'm gonna call an ambulance okay?" I watch him as he calls. He ties both of the horses lightly to the tree. I see him quickly text someone as my vision is getting black.

"Jack is coming." "'Lex, I'm sorry. Tell Dad I love him." My vision goes completely black. I wake up to hearing beeping. I recognize I am once again in a hospital. I see Dad in the corner. "D-Dad." He looks up at me and comes over. "I'm so thankful you are okay."

"What happened after I passed out?" "Alex had to do CPR because your heart stopped. He did it until the ambulance arrived. Jack took the horses back to the house while Alex rode to the hospital with you. They got your heart started again and you were rushed back for immediate surgery when you got here. You ended up with the same injuries I had after the mountain biking accident in 2015." I nod.

"Is Alex okay?" "Yeah. He has a concussion and a broken shoulder. You are both lucky, your tour is about 2 months and a week away and you both are looking at just about that long recovery before you'll be able to play." I see Alex enter the room. "Thank you." He smiles when he sees I'm awake.

"I'm so sorry you got hurt." "You did as well. It's not your fault." Jack walks in laughing. "What are we going to do with the three of you? You guys are always injured right before tour." I stick my tongue out and laugh a little before wincing at the pain in my ribs. Alex's face goes serious. "Rachel, can I?"

I bite my lip. "Dad, can Alex tell you something but you have to promise not to pull me out of the school?" He nods looking concerned so I nod to Alex. Alex tells him and Dad looks horrified. "I'm so sorry honey, why don't you want to leave the school?" "It's the only school I've ever fit in at. I don't have to take the core classes because I've tested out of them so I'm not constantly bored."

He hugs me lightly to not hurt me. "I'm going to call your school tomorrow and have them look at the footage. I'm going to have a restraining order put on you against that kid." I nod a little. "Let's get uncle and niece injury pictures now." Alex sits next to me and we get a few pictures. I go onto Instagram and select the pictures.

"Apparently I am accident prone or so my dad says. Alex and I were horseback riding near his house and there was some firecrackers that went off somewhere nearby. We were both bucked off the horses. I suffered three broken ribs, a broken breastbone, and a torn shoulder while Alex has a broken shoulder and a concussion. My luck seems to be going downhill further and further. On the positive note, only 8 weeks until tour! Alex and I should both be cleared by then to return. I love you all and see you soon."

I bite my lip. "Dad, how long am I stuck here?" "Four days." I look down a little. I hate the hospital with a passion. "'Lex?" "What's up?" "Where were the firecrackers coming from?" He shrugs and winces in pain. "I have no clue." I nod a little. I scroll through Instagram DM's and bite my lip. There are a lot asking why I moved down to San Diego.

"Dad, do you plan on telling the public about me?" "If you want me to." I nod. Alex takes a picture of the two of us. Dad looks nervous. "Rachel, I have something to tell you but you have to promise not to freak out." I nod a little, completely confused.

"I'm your biological dad. I was only just barely 19 when you were born. One day, my girlfriend at the time just up and left with you without a trace. I guess she put you up for adoption eventually." I don't know how I feel. I'm just kind of in shock. "I love you." "I love you too, honey. I'm so glad Alex led me to you."

A nurse comes in. "Visiting hours are over. I'm sorry but you must all leave." Dad gives me a sad look. "I love you. I'll be back in tomorrow." I wave a little and all three of them leave. The nurse talks but I mostly block her out. She sighs and leaves the room.

I pull the blade out from my jeans pocket and bring it to my upper thigh. I cut my leg multiple times. Everyone leaves me. It was bad enough knowing that my adoptive parents left me but knowing my actual mom left me as well hurts. It won't be long before Dad decides to leave me as well. No one could possibly want me.

I wish I had died today before I can get hurt by someone again. I text Alex. "I'm scared of my thoughts." "What's wrong?" "Everyone leaves me. I would be better off dead so I can't be hurt again by someone leaving me." "Rachel, are you thinking about killing yourself?" "I don't know." Tears fall from my eyes.

"Rachel, I need you to tell one of the nurses so they make sure you stay safe. I'll be back in a few minutes." "I can't tell the nurses. I don't want to be sent away to a mental hospital." I see Alex come in followed by the nurse that made them leave earlier. Alex walks over to me. "Do you have anything you can hurt yourself with?" I nod. I open up my hand revealing the bloody blade.

"There's one in my jeans pocket as well." He grabs it and the nurse sees the one is bloody. "I'm going to look at the cuts, okay? Where are they?" I point to my side. The nurse looks at them. "A couple of them need stitches. I'll be back in a moment."

I look at Alex. "What are they going to do with me?" "I don't know. Let's call your dad for now though, okay?" I nod a little. I don't want him to know but I know he will. I watch Alex call him. "Hey Alex, what's up?" "Your daughter needs to talk with you." A few tears come to my eyes. "Dad, I'm sorry." "What are you sorry for?" "I relapsed earlier and then I just cut again."

"Tone, she texted me that she felt like she's better off dead. I'm back at the hospital with her now but you should be here as well." "Oh god, I'll be there in a moment." I'm shaking a little bit. I have an irrational fear of getting in trouble so not knowing if I will is terrifying me.

"Hey, it's okay kid. Why are you shaking?" "Is Dad going to be mad at me? Am I going to get in trouble?" The panic is growing inside of me. "Hey, breathe. You're okay. He's not going to be mad at you." Alex manages to calm me down to the point I'm not shaking anymore. My breathing is still quick and so is my heart rate but at least I'm not shaking.

Dad comes in and he gives me a light hug. The nurse comes back in with the things she needs for stitches and I feel my heart rate rise. A look of realization flashes over Alex's face. "Tony, she's terrified of needles." I close my eyes and try to control the panic surrounding me.

I feel Dad pick me up a little and sit down on the bed with me in his lap. I back completely up to him looking for the comfort he provides me. He wraps his arms around me. I feel her flush out the cuts. "Do you want warning, honey?" I shake my head quickly.

I feel the sharp poke in my side and I whimper. "Alex, can you sing a little? It helps her." I hear Alex begin singing Therapy and I try to focus on it. "Alright, I'm done. Mr Perry, I would like to talk to you alone for a second." "I wish to talk to my daughter first." She nods. "I'll be in Office B when you are done."

She leaves and panic overtakes me again. "Please don't send me away. I don't want to be sent to a mental hospital." "I won't. If they want to move your room to the psych ward here for the remaining few days I'll let them but I'll still take you home at the end of the four days. I'm not going to leave you, honey."

"Everyone leaves me, Dad. It's only a matter of time before you want to do the same."