I'm a Walking Travesty (Adopted by Tony Perry)

Chapter 3

I wake up after surgery. The doctor hands me a plate full of food that appear to be extremely fatty and greasy. I begin trying to eat it but I can't even eat a quarter of it. "I-I can't eat anymore." Tears fall from my eyes. "I-I'm sorry." She nods and leaves the room.

She comes back with multiple other things. "If at any time you need me to stop because it gets too uncomfortable I want you to tap my arm." I nod and she sits up the bed. She measures out the tube length. I watch her lubricate the first 6 inches or so of the tube.

"Alright honey, I'm going to begin inserting it. Again, tap my arm if you get too uncomfortable." I nod. She begins by putting it in my nose. As it progresses, I get extremely uncomfortable but I don't want to make her stop. A tear slides down my face and she immediately stops. "Hey, it's okay honey. Why didn't you say you were getting uncomfortable?" I shrug.

The nurse works on calming me down. "Alright, I'm going to continue, alright? I'm almost done." I nod. She puts it in a little further. "Okay, I'm going to have you tilt your head down to your chest and then I will have you take some sips of water." I nod and do as she says. "Okay, that's good. I'm going to attach it to the side of your face now, okay?" I nod.

She finishes attaching it. "Okay honey, this bag will be feeding you at a regulated pace. I'll be back later to switch it out with a full one. If you need anything, click that button." I nod. She leaves the room. I feel my phone ring. I see it's Alex and a light smile crosses my face. I answer it.

"Hey Alex." "Hey. What's the tube for?" I shift a little uncomfortably. "I have Anorexia Nervosa. It's for food because I couldn't eat the amount they gave me." He gives me a sad look. "I'm sorry, kid." I shrug and see Jack's face pop up in the camera. "Hi Rachel!" I smile a little and wave. I realize my classes are about to start.

"I have to go to class. Sorry." I hang up quickly. Today is part of my off-campus week. Sadly, since it is a Monday, I have all of my teachers. I go into first period. I leave my camera on so I am actually paying attention. My teacher lets the first three of us into class.

"Rachel, are you in the hospital?" I nod. "Is that a nasogastric tube? Is that why you were admitted?" I turn on my mic. "I was admitted for knee surgery this morning but it is a NG tube." "You can turn off your camera if you want to so your private matters don't become everyone's."

I shrug. "Do you mind if I point it out to everyone to explain? We were going to be talking about them today." "Please don't point it out but if someone else asks you can explain it." She nods and begins letting other kids into class. I see someone ask in the chat and I sigh.

She doesn't respond and I hear the kid unmute as the last of people come into the class. "Rachel, what's in your nose?" "It kind of leads into today's topic unmeaningly. Today we were talking about psychology. One of the mental illnesses we were going to talk about in specifics is Anorexia Nervosa. Now Rachel, correct me if I'm wrong but that is probably the reason you have the tube, right?" I nod.

"In people with Anorexia Nervosa, they have a distorted vision of themselves typically. They have an extreme fear of weight gain and they typically tend to eat very little if any but exercise a lot. If it gets bad enough, a person may even be admitted to the hospital. Rachel was not admitted to the hospital because of it but I'm assuming that's when it was first realized." I nod again.

"In the hospital, if a person cannot or refuses to eat, either at all or enough, they may be given a nasogastric tube to increase calorie intake. Rachel, can you show the end with the food?" I nod and point the camera to the bag. I space out during a lot of the rest of the lesson.

"Rachel, I'm here if you ever need someone to talk to." I give her a light smile and nod. "What happened to your knee?" "I tore my ACL, PCL, and MCL as well as damaging the meniscus." She looks surprised. "That's a lot of damage." I nod. "Thank you for letting me use you as an explanation." "No problem."

I go into math and keep my camera off at the beginning. "Can everyone turn their cameras on and so I can get attendance?" I turn on my camera and I see a shocked look cross her face as well as Clay's. "Rachel, can I talk to you after class? You can turn your camera off." I turn it off quickly before responding.

"I've talked enough about it already. I'm in the hospital and so I'm recovering." She nods. "You can be excused from class right now." "Thanks." I hear Clay before I leave. "Can I leave to talk to my bandmate?" "Go ahead, Clay. I can get any other bandmates you have excused from their second period class. Kyra?" "Oh, I'll have Ms. Peart excuse her."

I leave class and text Reggie. "We're having a video call in between the band right now because I have something to explain to all of you." I send them all a video chat. They answer. "Rachel, what happened?" I bite my lip. "I was diagnosed with Anorexia Nervosa. I have the nasogastric tube, also known as the NG tube, until I am eating normal amounts on my own."

They all give me sympathetic looks. "Did you already have surgery?" I nod. "I have to go. Sorry." I quickly end the call as the doctor walks in. "Hey honey, how are you feeling?" "Overwhelmed." "Can you explain?" "I've gone from not eating to having a forced intake of a lot. One of the reasons I started not eating was because of bullying and now I feel like I'm putting myself right back in. It never even stopped. I'm also worried about it getting back to my friends and what they would think."

She nods. An alarm goes off on my phone. "I have to go to class." "Oh, you're still going?" I nod. "I don't want to get behind. I might as well." She nods and hands me my school laptop. I give her a smile and turn on the meeting from it. "Thanks."

She checks everything. "I'm going to give you another IV for meds for your knee." I nod. She leaves and I close my eyes. I feel the cold alcohol wipe at my elbow and then the sting of the IV. I watch her hook it up to a second bag and then she leaves.