Within these walls (American horror story)

Chapter 7- I can't hate you

Me and Tate talked for hours. We talked about everything and nothing at the same time. We talked in the attic, in the kitchen and somehow ended up in my room. I woke up in the middle of the night wrapped up in Tates arms, tangled together. He looks so peaceful when he's sleeping...so innocent. It's weird to see how his facial expression changes every so often like he's  having a bad dream.

He starts to shuffle around on the bed like he's stuggleing. I can see sweat starting to form on his forehead. His hair sticking to it as one single bead of sweat rolls down the side of his face. I reach up slowly and push his hair back out of his face. I run the tips of my fingers down his cheek and shush him soothingly.

He twists his arms around me and pulls me into his chest. I look up at his now calm face and forget about everything bad. About being dead and stuck here in this hell hole. I close my eyes and sleep, i sleep better than I have in weeks. No bad dream just pure blissfully calm sleep.

I expect to wake up alone since Tate is constantly disappearing. Instead i wake up to Tate looking down at me, the same cheesy grin plastered on his face. His grin may look the same but there's something different in his eyes, an emotion i can't quite read.

"Hi." He whispers and buries his face into my neck. I hear him take in a long breath through his nose, like he's desperate to remember what i smell like.

"Hi." I giggle as his grip around me tightens, I only just notice the position we're in. Our legs are tangled together and I'm layed on Tates chest with my hands gripping his now crinkled tshirt. I stretch out slightly, well as far as i can since Tate shows no sign of letting me go anytime soon.

"Nice sleep." He says. At first i think it's a question but realise that he's telling me that he slept well. We must have not being able to sleep in common.

"Me too." I smile up at him. "The best I've slept in weeks." I let out a huge yawn but when i look back up at Tate his face has changed. His expression is darker for a second but then becomes sad.

"The dream...about me." He sighs. He takes his arms from around me and sits up. He does it so suddenly i don't even realise whats happening. His shoulders are slumped and he has his head in his hands.

"Tate." I whisper, i sit up and put my hands on his shoulders. He feels so tense that i can't help but try and make him feel better. I lay my head on his back- slowly and hesitantly- between his shoulder blades.

"Everything's my fault." He sounds like he could be crying but I can't see his face. "I'm a bad person... i don't blame you for hating me." I feel my insides twist and hate the way i feel when i see him upset. I get off the bed and kneel down in front of him.

"Tate." I whisper again but a little louder than last time. "Look at me." He doesn't move just shakes his head from side to side in him hands.

"Please." I whimper. He slowly lifts his head and we're almost nose to nose. I can see unshed tears in his eyes and as he looks at me a single tear falls down his cheek. I wipe it away with my thumb and place my hand on the side of his face. All i want to do is take away the pain and give him comfort. Take him back to the time when he was an innocent boy with blond hair sticking out all over the place.

"Why?" His face scruches up in confusion.

"Why what?" I smile as i run my fingers through his hair, thinking of that beautiful little boy.

"Why don't you hate me?...I'm disgusting." He graps my hands in his and looks down at them. His face looks afraid, afraid of what I'm going to say. I grab his face between my hands and look into his eyes.

"I can't Tate." I sigh. "I can't hate you." As he looks into my eyes i see the same thing i saw this when i woke up. An expression I'd only ever seen in my parents eyes and the eyes of family. He was looking at me with love, sweet inoccent love. "You're not a bad person Tate. You do bad things but that doesn't make you a bad person." He shakes his head and looks at the floor.

"I'm not a good person." He says with pure disgust.

"I never said you were a good person Tate." His face is confused and i'm not suprised. I don't know what im feeling or thinking, it's all so new. My parents were very anti boys, never had a boyfriend or even been kissed before Tate. "But there is good inside you, i can feel it."

I smile putting one hand on his heart. "Right here."

I look into his eyes and feel how close we are. I can feel his breath on my face, he puts his hands on my waist. He bends down so he's off the bed and we're both kneeling. His face is so close that are noses touch, i close my eyes enjoying the feeling.

Tate moves his hand around my back and pushes us closer together, we are now chest to chest. The materials around my body becomes to tight and all i want is to feel Tate fully against me. We haven't even kissed but this feels so intamite. I feel my breathing pick up pace as my heart beats faster. Beating so fast that I'm sure Tate can feel it, or maybe even hear it.

I open my eyes to see Tate staring at me, his breathing just as heavy as mine. He runs his hands down my arms, places his fingers between my own and holds up our intertwined hands. i close my eyes again as he kisses my face. My forehead, my eyes, my cheeks, my chin and my nose.

"Beautiful." He sighs and i can hear the smile on lips. His beautiful lips. I open my eyes and run my hands through his hair. It's my turn to kiss him. He closes his eyes and places his hands on the small of my back. I kiss his forehead, his eyes, his cheeks, his chin and his nose.

"Beautiful." I smile. My smile widens as Tate giggles. A giggle i can imagine coming from the little boys lips. The small inoccent Tate who didn't know any better, care free like a child should be.

Tate starts to lean in slowly, looking into my eyes like he way looking for promision. He stops an inch from my face, maybe he doesn't want to risk me rejecting him. I wait a second and lean in the rest of the way. The kiss is soft and gentle at first but soon becomes deperate. Tate pulls me forward so that I'm sitting in his lap and then stands, still holding me. Our lips never part as he sets me down on my bed and sets himself between my legs.

"Tate." I moan as he attaches his lips to my neck. I feel my self panting whilst Tate sucks on the spot, that's definitely going to leave a mark. His hand travels under my shirt, runs up one side of my body leaving a trail of goosebumps. This is all so new but feels so natural. Just as he puts his mouth back on mine we hear footsteps coming from the basement. I pull away from Tate and try to ignore his sad/annoyed expression.
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I might add more to this chapter :) I just wanted to upload something.