Within these walls (American horror story)

Chapter 6- I've been alive so long it's sending me insane

The next day......

Dear diary

This big old house seems so empty without any furniture, it almost makes me sad, almost. This house looks so different from when I lived here with my parents. Every time a new family moves in they bring their style with them,  Jack and Holly seemed to like the modern vibe but I prefer a more cosy look. I can tell that this new couple are going to be different and that's just from looking at the woman's boots. I hope it's going to be nice but it doesn't really matter because they wont be here for long.....nobody ever is. I don't know how long it will be until a fancy man in a suit will come along looking for a piece of land he can build some fancy housing on and I dont know what will happen to us then. Maybe we will pass on, when the house that's trapping us is destroyed maybe we'll be free. I've spent years trying to think of ways I could pass on, be with my parents on the other side, but with countless dead ends I just gave up.  For some reason I have this feeling, a feeling that everything is going to change.

I saw Tate yesterday but we didn't talk much. It was fine until i asked him where he was the day before and then he got all nerves and told me "I should stop asking questions". I don't know why he couldn't just tell me where he had been. I guess i new where since we can't leave this god damn house, but it would of been nice to know what was making him so nervous. I didn't see him for the rest of the day and to be honest i'm kind of glad i didn't. Its not that i don't want to see him it just easier if we stay away from each other, Tate is a bad person and bad people don't just change. I heard a saying that one of the owners once said, something like 'a leopard never changes its spots' or something like that.

I shoved my diary away feeling annoyed by the way me and Tate left things yesterday. I don't understand why he couldn't just tell me what he had been doing. I make my way up stairs to see a still empty- apart from the ghosts- house. The new owners wouldn't be moving in their furniture until tomorrow, I'm really hoping that they decorate the place nice. It would be even more of a hell house if it was decorated by somebody with a horrible taste, or somebody who doesn't know how to clean. Thanks to Moira the house is always clean.

"Good morning Amy." Speak of the devil. " I would offer you a cup of tea but we seem to be out of tea..." She looks around her "and cups." She smiles.

"That's fine Moira, I'm sure you'll be back to making tea in no time." I laugh as i sit down on a breakfast bar stool, Moira joins me.

"I hope so." She sighs. "I'm not sure i can do this any more." She seems to be getting a little upset, i really do hate seeing people upset.

"You don't have to clean other peoples mess Moira." I smile trying to make her feel better.

"Not cleaning child." She says suddenly. "Living!" She shouts as she begins to break down, standing up and pacing. " I have been alive so long it's sending me insane" This makes me angry because i have been here way longer than she has.

"Don't you think i know that? I've been here for a hell of a long time! I wish i wasn't alive, i wish I'd never gone into the basement the night i died! But you know what I did and I've had to watch so many people die and make bad choice and lie and cheat!" I take deep breaths as she just stands there looking scared and full of sorrow. "It's just so... so... exhausting." I sigh. Moira walks over to me and rubs my arm, this is new.

"I am very sorry Amy, I guess i never thought about how long you have been here and how hard this is for you." She sighs. I feel a single tear run down my cheek, i didn't realize that i had started to cry. "Don't cry child." She half laughs whilst she takes a handkerchief from her pocket and wipes away the wetness on my face, i can't remember the last time i cried. I stay silent and sit down on a chair- Moira joins me also in silence- we just sit there.

"Thank you." I smile and turn towards Moira, she smiles back and takes my hand. "I know it's hard...but everything is going to be fine." I have this feeling inside me that everything is going to change. I don't know if it's the new owners or the fact that i'm actually enjoying human- somewhat human- company. This makes me think about Tate and how much i actually want to see him, my thoughts then turn to Bow who has been my best friend for so long. Even though he was murdered by his own mother boyfriend he is still the beautiful and Innocent person he has been since he was born. I stand up- leaving Moira sat at the table- making may way towards the stairs. I pull down the stairs to the attic and make my way straight up but when i get up there Bow isn't waiting for me like a normally is. Tate is in his place, sat on Bows bed.

"Hi." He smiles."I heard you coming and asked Bow if he could give us some time to talk." He scoots over so i can sit on the bed next to him.

"Talk about what?" What could he possibly want to talk about?

"Stuff..." He shrugs.

"What stuff?" I half laugh, i don't know why but i always feel comfortable around him. His grin widens into a full smile, he takes my hand and rubs circles on it with his thumb.

"Just stuff." We both look at each other and start laughing. I've missed this.