clean slate | charlie swan

~ the one in which things get worse

Alex sits at the kitchen table in silence, Ollys head in her lap as one hand strokes his head. The other hand holds the small scan photo. It's been 2 days and it hasn't sunk in yet and she hasn't found a way to tell Charlie. Since they never thought it a possibility, they've never discussed the 'what if' of children. But that what if it happens is now likely a 'when it happens'.

What if she looses the baby?

What if she carries it to full term no problem?

What if Charlie doesn't want it?

What if she can't carry it and they have to make a horrible decision about what to do?

Or what if Charlie is left to make the decision because she's half dead?

And what if John reappears?

Alex instantly puts the scan into her back pocket as Charlie comes downstairs in a crumpled t-shirt and some jeans. Alex tuts. "Charlie, that t-shirt is filthy!"

He pulls the fabric out to examine it, shrugging. "It'll do."

She smiles and stands. "Will it? What if it was our child running around in a messy shirt?"

"Olly doesn't wear shirts, silly." He kisses her cheek and pours a coffee.

She smiles small and let's it go. "What are your plans for the day?"

"I think the weather is meant to be dry so Mick and I were thinking of grilling." He says, leaning on the counter. "We haven't see the turds in a while, have we."

She smiles at the thought; Charlie does love spending time with the boys. Maybe that's a good sign he'll be happy for a baby? "No, we haven't. I better get some steaks in."

"You certainly had!" He smiles. "I'm gonna take this fella on a w - a - l - k." He says, grabbing the leash from the hook. Olly instantly goes crazy.

Alex smiles. "Be careful." She calls, waiting to hear the door click before she pulls the scan out again. She runs her fingers over it gently and sighs, grabbing her car keys and phone. No time to think if she's to feed an army of boys.

She drives to the store and grabs some food for dinner, snacks for after. If the ground isnt too damp they could have a fire so she grabs some crackers, chocolate and marshmallows, too. As she unloads the cart, she accidentally makes eye contact with Sue who ends up behind her, the cash register they're on being the only one open.

"Urm, hi." Sue says.

Alex forces a smile. "Hello."

"How's Charlie?" She asks, shifting her basket.

Alex forces a wider smile. "He's good, just walking our Olly."

"Charlie loves animals." She nods. "A lot more than people. A lot more than kids." She says, eyeing the smores ingredients. "Having a party?"

"Yeah, Charlie invited our Godsons over." Alex says sassily. "He adores them, he has them round more than I ever used to."

"Huh." Sue nods small, both going silent.

Alex pays and grabs her cart. She takes a step to leave before she turns to Sue, glaring. "I think you're really immature. And I can't believe I bite everytime. But whatever you think you know about Charlie is always wrong. I'm sorry your relationship with him didn't work but he and I have been together a while now. He isn't a replacement for Harry, you need to understand that." She snaps, rushing out. Okay, maybe the last part was a little harsh but it's true. Charlie and Sue got together so soon after the passing of Harry that maybe Sue was trying to grieve in a way of filling the void.