The Bedroom Blog

The Exact Moment When You Realize You're a Hot Mess

Chloe's Christmas week is not going as planned.

By Alessandra Torre

It's Christmas Eve and I'm spending the night bundled up with Cammie on the couch, hot chocolates in hand, Elf on the flat screen. I'm still hungover from Monday night, and a sinus headache settled in Tuesday morning, and hasn't budged. Life with Cammie hasn't helped. She starts her days by blaring Glee's Christmas album at full blast. I'd ask her to turn it down, but I'm avoiding any conversation that might circle back to Monday night's events.

Monday night, after picking up the girls from the airport, we went dancing and drinking until 3 a.m. when we finally decided to call it a night. A hand caught mine as we stepped into the street, the pull interrupting my giggle at something Cammie had said.

The hand was attached to a guy. Tailored suit, wide smile,and flushed face that indicated a night of drinking. "Hey beautiful," he said, his breath frosting in the night air. I gently worked my hand free, feeling the flank of my girls rallying beside me.

"Hey," I smiled. "You good?" I stepped back, glancing up the street to make sure we weren't all about to be pancaked.

"I was hoping for your number, didn't get it in the club. I'm Tommy." He smiled, a grin that probably made his girlfriend real happy.

"Nice to meet you Tommy, but I'm not interested."

He scowled. Held up a hand that swayed slightly, his friends pulling at his shoulder, sending apologetic looks our way while failing to moveTommy. "Awww… come on. One kiss. If it's not incredible, I'll give you a thousand dollars." He fumbled in his suit pocket, pulling out a thick wad of hundreds and holding them out. "Come on. One kiss."

Three months ago, I'd have laughed in his face. But, with my negative balance still fresh in my mind, a thousand bucks was tempting. More than tempting. I stepped closer, Benta's hand wrapping like a vise around my arm. "Chloe," she warned. I hesitated. I'm not gonna lie, Benta's level of authority often scares me. She barks, I listen. But now, I stood firm.

"One kiss." I repeated, meeting his eyes. "For a thousand bucks."

"You're probably worth it." He shrugged, smacking the cash across his palm as he swayed slightly, the action drawing attention to the shine of his watch, the same brand my father wears. Or rather, used to wear. Behind him, his friends stopped their efforts, suddenly interested in this late-night negotiation.

I examined him closer. He wasn't terrible looking. Prep school pretty, I wouldn't depend on him to protect me in a dark alley. I could tell you without looking that his nails were manicured, his palms probably smoother than mine.

I risked death, tugging my arm from Benta and stepped closer, looking up at him. "OK, Romeo. Give me your best shot."

Ugh. Let me tell you right now, his best shot really, really, really sucked. Imagine a thick tongue forcibly ramming itself into my gum line. A smack of extra saliva as he clamped his chops around my lower lip and slowly pulled away, my lip stretching out before popping free. He tasted like red bull and whiskey, sugary sweet with a foul after taste. I've literally had gynecological exams that I've enjoyed more.

I almost jumped back, shoving off of his chest, my hand wiping across my mouth as I glared at him. "That was your best kiss?"

He laughed, rubbing his own lips with a smile that suddenly reeked of asshole.  I held out my hand, wanting the cash, and his eyes dropped to it with a sneer. I don't want to even explain how I felt right then. Sick to my stomach, and it wasn't from the four amaretto sours I'd downed inside.

"Let's go Chloe." Benta spoke quietly from behind me.

"Gimme the cash. We had a deal." I insisted, my palm still extended out to him, my pride at an all time low. I could feel tears prick my eyes.

"He's not worth it. Come on." Cammie's hand wrapped around my forearm and pulled, my heels tripping over the icy curb, her driver moving to open the back door for us. Once, before climbing in, I glanced over my shoulder — caught the trio of dickheads laughing.

I tried resting my forehead against the cold window on the ride home, anything to try and get the spinning to stop. That had been the first time in my life that I had ever felt cheap. The look in his eyes when he had laughed at me. I must have looked so pathetic, holding out my hand.

I shouldn't have turned when he grabbed my hand. Should've listened to Benta. Should have laughed in his face like I would have done three months ago.

But within weeks of my trust fund's disappearance, I had prostituted myself out for a kiss. And hadn't even gotten paid for it. I groaned against the glass window and felt the gentle pat of Cammie's hand against my back.

Is it possible that the cultured, confident woman I was before was just because of my parent's money? Maybe now, with my new life a train wreck, I would discover who Chloe Madison really was.

Ugh. I rolled the window down and prayed I wouldn't vomit.