The Bedroom Blog

How to Make Friends at Work

Chloe makes an A-list connection.

By Alessandra Torre

I write to you from Nicole's trailer. It's pretty nice, much better than her first one. We walked into that one and her mouth opened, bitching started pouring out. She left and I stayed with a new list, this one with everything that her trailer should include. Things like a hair prep station, walk-in closet, and full shower. Things that would never fit into the tiny metal trailer.

My salvation ended up coming from a ridiculously tall girl with hot pink hair, matching nails and a full tattoo sleeve. Any question I had about her inappropriate appearance was answered within five minutes of her walking through the door. She's the assistant I hope to one day become, one who knows everyone, anticipates everything, and is utterly calm despite it all.

"Yo."

That was my intro to her. She propped open the door to Nicole's trailer and popped a bright purple bubble of gum. I must have had panic on my face because she stepped inside and shut the door.

"What's wrong?"

Without thinking, I handed over the list to her, a tattooed stranger with purple gum. I didn't know why, I just did. And thank god I did.

"Ha." Another pop of gum. I could smell it. It smelled really good. Grape. When was the last time I'd had grape bubble gum? Elementary school?

She passed the list back. "Her contract outlined what would be in her trailer. She knows that."

"So ... I tell her no?"

She laughed. "Nicole Brantley? No. You call a trailer company and get her what she wants. But she pays for it, not the studio."

"Will she be OK with that?"

She shrugged. "She doesn't belong in this movie anyway. She won't do anything to jeopardize this role, trust me. If she gave you this list, she expects to pay for it."

I blindly followed her lead. Let her call someone and rattle off Nicole's list without pause. Dumbly handed over Nicole's AmEx and verbally approved the ridiculous price the guy quoted. When she locked my phone and tossed it back, I finally found the manners to introduce myself.

"I'm Chloe. I'm pretty new to this - assisting I mean. Nicole hired me a couple of months ago."

"Hannah." She reached out and shook my hand.  "I'm Joey Plazen's assistant."

My hand stalled somewhere during the handshake. "Really?"

She grinned, detangling from my grip. "Really."

"Joey Plazen? The Academy Award-winning actor?" My voice squeaked.

"That's the one." She headed for the door.

"He's in this movie?" I couldn't figure it out. Why would a verifiable A-list movie star be making something due to be seen only by shut-ins and insomniacs?

She paused in the doorway. "Yeah. This is a big-budget film."

"But..." I couldn't think of a nice way to ask my question. She finished the question for me.

"Why's Condom Queen in it?"

I nodded gratefully.

"Great question." She raised her eyebrows at me and, with another pop of gum, left.