Unexpected Gift: Mental Demons-It's A Side Effect Of The Disorder

30 0 0

by Lunanightstar

by Lunanightstar

Breathe deeply...

I tell myself to ease my rapid breathing.

It's okay, everything is okay.

I tell myself as salty, unwanted tears run down my once dry cheeks. I huff to steady myself. I have a headache. My mind is cluttered with restless thoughts and hyper-active demons. My tears are not, necessarily, from sadness. They are from frustration and anger. They fall as a sign of my body breaking down from my internal conflicts. They fall because I'm close to the edge and about to swan dive into the deep end. These tears are a warning; an indication of me about to introduce my internal pain to psychical world.

Breathe deeply... Everything will be okay.

That sweet and motherly voice tries to hush my screaming. It tries to hush the demons that will,

not,

settle the fuck down.

You're fine sweetie, come over here.

That voice wants me to come back to her. It wants me safe. But I hesitate. The demons at the bottom of the pit, they want me too. They promise me I'll be just as safe with them. But those are lies. I've been with those torturous bastards before. All they did was hurt me with false security.

Be with me, you don't have to go back there again.

It's right, I don't. It wasn't a fun time before and it won't be a fun time in the future. So I settle.

Good! See I told you you're okay. You did a good job today.

I smile a nervous smile. The demons settle, aware that, for now, they will not get to me. My headache slowly sizzles to a stop and I stagger back from the pit of hell that calls out to me when I'm alone and fragile. I turn around and as I try to walk away, it lets out a chuckle. A deep, throaty, disgusting chuckle,

SEE YOU SOON