To Catch a Gust of Wind [COMPLETE]

Chapter 1 - Hidden in White [#2]

"Howcould it be better for us if we're separated?"

The cemetery was quiet...for a while. Its secrets lay securely buried under tons of concrete until washed away in a muddy flood when the rains came.

For as long as it can tolerate, peace is neutral. It knows no sides. When there's nothing on the outside to interrupt its silence, it keeps peace to itself. First it is that hissing sound you don't know if it's a sound at all. You don't give much thought to it. It is a cemetery after all. Then an onrush of air coming to you, breaking its subtleness so that it ruffles your hair.

Hushed voices suffused the air. They came from behind the tiered tombs in this part of the cemetery, where leaning crosses and cracked statues of angels loomed obtrusively from the sepulchers. They're like spent sentinels whose days of keeping watch were over.

Two figures sat still on a battered wooden bench under the shade of kalachuchi trees. The bench had seen better days, its edges were lined with dirt and old pebbles started to loosen their grip on the cement. A narrow path, bordered by white concrete slabs on both sides, led to the bench from the gate.

"What's your plan now?" Thea Marie asked Rafael seated beside her. She spoke the words without looking at him, her hands uneasily clasping on her lap, disheveling her black skirt. She wished she had asked it later, but she had no other things in mind to start conversation with Rafael. Some things must be said first before they slipped out of her mind. I have to do this right now, here, before anything else happens.

Rafael stood up. The look on his haggard face revealed confused expression and it made him look older than his age, kind of eating less nutritious foods during the past few months. He groped for the right words to say.

"I don't know. I have not thought about it yet. Let's get things settled down first then we'll talk about it," he replied in a lugubrious tone. He sat down again, his palms, wet with perspiration, flat on the bench. They left palm prints on the surface when he took his hands away from the bench. They suddenly dried up and disappeared.

Sensing his disquiet, Thea Marie asked again rather sheepishly. "Do you wish me to stay here? Is that what you want? You can say it. I know how to manage myself alone." A dubious statement. Am I saying the right things? Thea Marie checked herself.

"Maybe you could find work here. It would be better for you, for the both of us," Rafael said evasively. He intentionally averted Thea Marie's eyes, which were now fixing on him. He didn't know how to console a grief-stricken young mother whose baby was buried in the cemetery. Their baby daughter.

"How could it be better for us if we're separated? So, you want me to stay?" Thea Marie's voice suddenly got louder, perhaps a little bit too loud even she was surprised. She didn't mean to.

There was no response. Rafael didn't dare. She's really into it, he thought.

"I'm ... I'm not prepared yet," Rafael said as if he's talking to himself. Realizing he couldn't be heard enough, he raised his voice a bit higher, breaking the silence. "My sister's still in college. She needs my support. You know that, don't you? Let's try to lie low for a while. Everything will be alright, I promise you." His eyes still avoided her gaze that seemed to bore into him. He flinched back every time they happened to glance at each other. To hide his surprise, he quickly turned to look blankly at the tall cogon grasses nearby, bent low and dry. Beyond gleamed the newly whitewashed tombs. Then he looked at the sky pretending to search for the passing airplane. Where's that airplane flying to? he wondered. I wish I'm flying in it.

The quiet was broken. And peace acquired an uncanny feeling to it. It's like silence had acquired a gloomy face. And silence with a dismal face could lead to depression and perhaps, suicide later.

However, suicide was out of Thea Marie's mind. Far from it. She was saddened by this new experience, and for a time she's inconsolable, but she's not depressed. She knew she's facing a new chapter in her life, with or without Rafael. Of course, she would do anything to be with him, whatever the cost. Gently, albeit nervously, she touched Rafael's shoulders...