It was a late afternoon back in February 2003, the weather was vicious and Avril Lavigne was playing subtly as Farfetchle was giving birth to her third child and second son, Borblespunk.
"Just keep breathing, slowly but firmly," the nurse and Farfetchle's husband, Cork, were chanting. Farfetchle was in a cold sweat. She had two kids before Borblespunk, and although the childbirth was surely difficult, it seemed concerningly more difficult for Farfetchle to birth Borblespunk than before.
"I'm worried" Farfetchle exclaimed. "It just doesn't feel like he wants to budge!"
"There's absolutely no concern," the nurse explained, "the baby is just a bit larger than normal, he's hefty but you'll both make it, I'm almost sure of it!"
"Almost?" Cork questioned as Farfetchle's heart monitor started dropping drastically.
"Someone get me a defibrillator and a heating pad!" The nurse shouted across the room to the surrounding nurses, as they rushed over with what she requested.
"Baby daddy, I'm gonna need you to help me roll your wife over on her side so we can insert the heating pad!"
Quickly, Cork grabbed his wife's arm and helped roll his wife over on her side. As they were turning her over her weight from her baby caused her to turn too far and she fell off the table and on to her stomach.
"Oh my god Farfetchle!" Cork screamed as he checked her pulse. "She's not breathing!"
"Checking for a pulse is checking for blood flow dumbass!" The nurse screamed as her and the other nurses hoisted Farfetchle back onto the operating table. "Clear!" The nurse shouted as she activated the defibrillator and zapped Farfetchle back to life.
Farfetchle let out a huge gasp and as she regained consciousness, Borblespunk exited her inflamed and somewhat smelly vagina successfully.
"Dear god it's ugly!" said the nurse as she projectile vomited in the opposite direction from the pure disgust she had just laid eyes on.
"Oh sweetie, it's definitely a baby!" Cork told his wife as he passed her the revolting chunk of guts and flesh known as Borblespunk.
"He's absolutely stunning!" Beamed Farfetchle. "He's going to be my pride and joy, I just know it!"
