Bruhleigh nervously opened the door to see who was standing behind it. It was an average-sized man with way too much eyeliner and a black sweater which he appeared to be wearing under a spider-man costume.
"Who are you?" I asked. He looked up at me with his emo eyes and his emo hair and his emo clothes.
"Peter. Peter Parker, rawr XD!" he said in a low voice.
"Did you buy my sister?" Bruhleigh asked.
"Yep."
Bruhleigh handed me a suitcase with what appeared to be all of my belongings. I took it and looked up at this Peter Parker guy. This was going to be fun a new adventure 😜!
As we walked outside, confusion filled me. "Where's your car?" I asked.
"Car?! No, no. We're going full swaggy and walking like the sussy imposters we are," he said with a completely straight face. I just shrugged and followed his lead, walking a few metres behind him as he walked like he was super swag.
Then, we finally reached his apartment. He unlocked the door and I walked in. I put my suitcase on the ground and looked around. It smelled of pizza grease and sharpie. There were some Evanescence posters on the wall and MCR CDs scattered around a boombox. "Nice place!" I said.
"Thanks, I'll give you a little tour." He showed me around the apartment, starting with the crusty kitchen with a fridge full of pizza boxes. The living room was full of emo band merch and a life-sized cardboard cutout of the onceler. The bathroom had a bathtub that smelled of sharpies and the bathtub was slightly stained black. Kinda sus, not gonna lie.
He showed me to my room, which was actually the boiler room with a crusty mattress in the corner. It was really dusty and gross, but nothing my chevron-patterned tapestry and a few Ed Sheeran photocards couldn't fix.
I was really liking everything so far!
YOU ARE READING
you are sold to emo Peter Parker
Fanfictionedit: WHY IS THIS BLOWING UP NOW I STARTED IT IN FEBRUARY also before you ask YES THIS IS SATIRE 😭 it all started when my girlfriend showed me Bully Maguire and I thought it would be funny to write a parody of a tumblrina sold to one direction stor...
