𝐅𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐤𝐞𝐭

𓂺

𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𓁹ᴥ︎︎︎𓁹

𝐍𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 12𝐭𝐡, 2019
𓂸𓂸𓂸𓂸𓂸𓂸𓂸𓂸𓂸𓂸𓂸𓂸𓂸𓂸𓂸𓂸𓂸

"Why you keep taking her away from me bruh?" I asked Fallon, seeing him put her inside the crib. "I'm not, always assumin." He said raising his voice. I stared at him while grinding my teeth before grabbing my phone and the keycard and walking out the room.

"Aye you gotta smoke?" I asked a random person. He nodded his head and handed me a few with a lighter. "Keep it." He said, walking off after I thanked him. I sat infront of the room door and lit the cigarette before putting it in my mouth and leaning back.

I closed my eyes and listened to the light music that was playing from the speaker down the sidewalk. Ion know how long I stayed outside all I know was I was on my second cigarette. "Thought yo ass quit." I heard somebody say, feeling the cig get snatched out my hand.

"I did." I mumbled, blowing the smoke out through my nose as I opened my eyes and looked at Pharaoh. "Apparently you didn't if you still smokin and whea Fall at?" He asked. I stood up and pointed to the room. "He know you smokin?" He said looking me up and down while he mugged.

I shrugged and took my phone out to look at the time. I heard as Pharaoh smacked his lips and put the cigarette out before grabbing the rest out my pocket and throwing them in the trashcan that was next door.

"You gon catch fuckin cancer." He muttered, pushing me out the way and unlocking the door. I slid my phone inside my pocket and walked in after him, seeing Fallon sitting in the bed on his laptop. Phar sat in the bed and started talking to Fall, completely ignorin me.

I grabbed another shirt before going to the bathroom and brushing my teeth. I took my shirt off and put the other one on. I laid at the foot of the bed and watched Sagira sit in Falls lap chewing on them cereal things that I guess melts inside her mouth.

I closed my eyes, listening to their conversations that I couldn't keep up with since they kept switching from subject to subject.

-

I jumped up, breathing and sweating hard as hell. My hands was trembling and shaking while my eyes watered. It was dark inside the room so I couldn't see shit. "Stop fuckin doin that." Fallon said, turning to lay on his stomach.

I grabbed my phone to see what time it was. 2 in the mornin. I got up and took off my shirt, wiping my face with it. "Fuck bruh aint even mean to do that shit." I mumbled to myself as I made my way to the bathroom.

I cut the water on and washed my face. After I was done I looked at myself in the mirror. "Think I'm goin mental." I continued mumbling n shit. I sighed and leaned up. Keep having the same dreams over and over feel like I got ptsd or some shit.

I know what the fuck I did, stop remindin me. Relivin shit that happened years ago. Don't even think he alive after what happened. I walked out the bathroom and laid back in bed, getting on my phone and watching adult swim.

-

"Stop fuckin touchin me." Fallon mumbled, moving my hand off his thigh. I rested it on the arm rest while I used my other hand to steer. Wont even let me touch or talk to him and if I do he cut me off or walk away. Ion even know what I did.

Can't touch Gira either or he'll spazz the fuck out. "Drive faster." He said, turning in his seat to give Phar, Sagiras pacifier. "I ca- Yes you can." He cut me off. I lifted my foot up a bit, going a little faster. Too much built up ass tension in this car.

"Sonder you good?" Fathan asked. I nodded my head and relaxed my jaw. Didn't even know I was gritting my teeth till he said something. I soften my grip on the steering wheel and sped past a car I was stuck behind for 15 minutes.

I heard as Fall sucked his teeth. "The fuck you suckin yo teeth fo? I can't go faster than this." I told him, glancing at him. "Nigga yes the fuck you can." He responded, staring at me. "No the fuck I can't. Thats askin to get pulled ova, I'm already doin 90 in a 85 cause yo ass keep telling me to drive faster. What is we in a rush fo?" I said raising my voice and frowning my face up.

"Who the hell is you raisin yo voice at?" He asked me as I started gritting my teeth. "I'm raisin my voice at you since you act like we don't got a whole ass child in the mothafuckin car. Ian gettin no goddamn ticket cause of y- Shut the fuck up." He said cuttin me off.

"STOP FUCKIN INTERRUPTIN ME!" I yelled, hitting the armrest after every word. The whole car fell silent. I leaned back in my seat, slowing down and running my hand down my face as I relaxed myself.

And this the reason why I always walk away from shit. I let myself get irritated n shit and ended up yelling at my baby when ian mean to. Shouldve stayed my ass in therapy maybe that shit would've helped.

I even told myself not to do that shit. Ion even think an apology would help the fact that I yelled at his ass. This is probably what they call toxic. Why it feel like I just cheated and got caught.

When I looked at Fallon, his eyes was glossy and his nose was red. And I made him cry. How the hell and I supposed to apologize to him for that shit.