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Crying Lightning

Lilo left yesterday and I already miss her. I wish she could stay forever. I'm back to crying about how worthless I am. Why can't things be easier? I wish I was pretty like Lilo. It's raining and that doesn't help at all. I want a smaller nose my now is huge. I want to look in the mirror and love what I see. I can't do that with my body right now. I look at my self and only see how disgusting I am. I want it to just disappear.

My eyes are red and puffy. I'm exhausted from crying for most of the morning. I just lay in my bed sniffling while watching the raindrops race to the bottom of the window. My mom's down stairs cooking. I can smell it from my bed. I feel the urge to call Lilo so I at least feel the satisfaction of hearing her voice again. I open my phone and find her contact. The phone rings about 2 times before her voice is ringing through the speaker and her face comes up in the screen.

"Hey V, what up?" Lilo says calmly. I'm hurting and I want you to be mine. "Oh, nothing I just wanted to talk to you because I have nothing to do." I say monotonous. I point the camera to the ceiling so she can't see me looking rather uglier than usual. "Show your face please." Lilo practically begs. "Li, I can't I don't look that good right now." I complain as if that'll make her change her mind. "But you never look bad, just show your faces, babes please?" Lilo begs more. I can't say no now she made me cave by calling me babes like she always does.

"Okay fine but you won't like it." I finally give in and pull the camera up to my face. I prop it on one of my round pillows. "See, you're beautiful, I love you, okay?" Lilo smiles fondly. I feel my face heat up and I turn away. "I love you too, Li." I say with a smile as I turn my head back to the camera. I see the smile on her face and I fall in love with her all over again. I see why I love her smile so much. It's so big and bright and contagious.

     All of a sudden, a crack of lightning interrupts out moment. That damn son of a gun. Lilo looks startled, exactly how I feel. It came out of nowhere. We both burst out into laughter. We don't know why but it's just funny. We laugh and laugh. I forget how much my life sucks for a second. I clutch my sides as my ribs begin to hurt from laughter.

     Once we settle down from laughter we begin to chat about nothing and everything. She shows me the new rings she made and she's so excited about them. I can't stop the fond smile from appearing on my face. She's so cute when she's excited. Then again, she's cute doing everything. I'm whipped and I hate it. We continue talking for the next couple of hours.

     Our chat is cut short by a knock on the door. My mom call through the door that dinner is ready. I pout not wanting to end the call with Lilo just yet. I bid my goodbyes and hang up. I go to the door with a bored look on my face. I walk down to the kitchen and fix my own plate and walk back up the stairs. I fixed a small portion that I'm not even sure I'll eat.

     I call Lilo back. She answers quickly and is smiling. Makes me smile every time. "Hey V, I'm gonna sleep over tomorrow, okay?" Lilo says cheerfully. I grin at that. I nod my head rapidly. She's so coming over and I don't care what my parents say. "Okay what time?" "Around 2:30." Lilo says casually as if it's routine. It is by the way.

I end up only eating two spoonfuls of food. I was too busy laughing with Lilo to really eat. We both decided on making a group session to listen to arctic monkeys at the same time. I turn on my tv and we listen 'Crying Lightning'. We go on to listen to AM and Humbug. After, we decide to sleep because we have a day of school left before the weekend. I hate school.