Numb

Fire and The Thud

Trigger Warning: Mentions of suicide and someone attempting to starve themselves

     It's now after school on friday, the day Lilo's supposed to come. I am pumped which is nothing unusual. I see all the work that I have on my desk. I hate school I want to give up. However, I can't because that'll disappoint my parents and I'm a people pleaser so I can't. I want to die. Anyways, I can't let that bring my spirits down because Lilo's coming over and I can do the work on the weekend.

     The doorbell rings and I jump from my spot next to my work desk. I bolt to the door and open it quickly. I open the door to Lilo smiling with a black duffel bag. "Hey you ready to hide the body?" Lilo says smirking. I giggle and nod my head. I open the door further to let her in. "Hey Lilo, it's nice to see you again." My mom, Mave, says politely with a smile. Lilo smiles and gives her a side hug. We then head upstairs to my room

     When we make it to my room. She sets her things down then lies on my bed with her phone. I sit next to her and watch the tiktoks that she's watching. I slowly reach and snake my arms around her waist. I am always hesitant so she won't get the idea that I like her. Then she'll try to talk to me about it and I can't talk to her about that. I will end up confessing. I hate the fact that I can't do something simple without overthinking it. Anyways, I cuddle with her like this all the time although sometimes I'm scared I may be overstepping the best friend boundaries.

     After a while, we decide on listen to Mitski and The Neighbourhood. We jumped around, lied facing the ceiling and cried. The normal music session activities. "V, I'm a little hungry, what should we eat?" Lilo says all of a sudden. I don't know I really don't want to eat today. "Hmm, I'm not sure whatever you want, I want it."I settle for letting her make the choice so I don't choose something that would provoke me to eat.

      "Oh okay then... Chick- fil- a." Lilo concludes. I sight quietly in relief. I've never had it so I'll be good. She picks up her phone and quickly orders on Uber eats. I just have her order me the same meal as her. Once she's done I select Netflix on my tv and put on 'My babysitter's a vampire' and lie down on my bed. Lilo joins me shortly after and cuddles with me. I feel warm and the normal butterflies I get.

     After around 3 episodes the doorbell rings. My mom ends up bringing the food up to us. I thank her and set the food down on my desk. I go back to laying down on my bed. "Well aren't you going to get your food?" Lilo questioned. "I'll get it a bit later, I want to watch more episodes." I think up quickly. It was partly the truth. I wanted to watch more. She nods slowly, like she's not convinced, but doesn't press on. She comes to sit beside me and eats her food as we watch more episodes.

     It's beginning to get dark outside and me and Lilo have binged 'My babysitter's a vampire' for a couple of hours. "V, you haven't touched your food yet and it's been hours it's probably cold and you have to be hungry." Lilo says concerned. No please no I'm fine. "Yeah I'll eat in a bit." I try again. Lilo tilts her head and has a concerned expression gracing her features. I look down because this eye contact is not making me feel good.

     "No, you have to eat because I don't think you're being truthful now." Lilo says in a stern tone. My emotions start to flare and now I don't know what to do. "I'm not going to eat, I shouldn't." I raise my voice just a little. She looks hurt but concerned. She doesn't like when I raise my voice, even a little. She opens her arms, her signal for me to cuddle her because she's sorry that she made me raise my voice. This makes me feel guilty but I'm going to cuddle her anyways. After we hug, she gets up. She comes back with a fry and hands it to me.

     "Please eat, babes, at least just a couple fries." Lilo pleads. I look at her with obvious debate in my eyes. She gives her best puppy-dog eyes. "Only a few, just for you." I cave because she's adorable and I'm whipped. I slowly put the fry into my mouth and chew slowly instantly feeling the urge to spit it out. I then swallow and feel regret already. The feeling of my stomach being filled just makes me feel like I failed and I'm gaining weight. Lilo hands me 3 more fries and I repeat the process.

     "I love you so much, okay." Lilo says. I nod and lay down and resume the tv. She crawl into the bed and lies down beside me and kisses my cheek. I almost jumped out the window I'm so happy about this. She then wraps her arms around my waist and I place my arm under her neck. Right now, I feel great and I love Lilo so much she's the greatest.

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A/N
No because I'm scared this is cringe or getting there.
I'm gonna change the font for next chapter lmao I want to be able to put italics and bold and I was too lazy to change it during this.
Tell me how you're liking it BYEEE