𝙄𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚? - 𝙧. 𝙨𝙪𝙣𝙖

¡ twenty nine

"Rin, what are we?"

You remembered saying those exact words to someone else before. It was always you that kind of made the first move, even if you were shy or too afraid, you still wanted to know the truth and wanted it to be clear. Because you knew that overthinking it would cause nothing but even more stress to the situation.

—

"Kei, what are we? What is this?", not even a year ago you asked this exact question to your now ex boyfriend. You met Tsukishima through your mutual friend Yamaguchi. You never knew what it was about Tsuki, he never showed anyone his warm side, he always acted cold and harsh to everyone. It was rare that he showed anyone his emotions. But you never gave up on him, sometimes you could even bring out his smile. It was all till he became more and more distant, even though you saw him everyday.

He became emotionally and mentally distant. Not paying attention to you and rather paying attention to others and constantly saying all those hurtful things he probably didn't even notice. 

Every time you brought it up and tried to explain how he hurts you, it turned into a fight in which he guilt tripped you into thinking it was all your fault. Every time you tried to leave, he wouldn't let you go and showed you his sweet side for once, it made you believe that maybe he isn't that bad of a person and that maybe, deep down there, he had a good side to him.

Every time, he tried to manipulate you to stay in this relationship-ish thing you two had.

Even though Michi has told you from the beginning that this wouldn't work out and that this isn't good for you, you still believed that you could change him, or rather bring out his real self, no one saw that side of Tsuki, he rarely even showed it to you.

It wasn't long until you needed to get out of his emotional manipulative behaviour. You had asked him this question, to end all of this. He still wouldn't accept it, but moving places made it all a bit easier for you.

—

This time you were hoping that this question wouldn't end anything and rather start something new, something happy. You didn't want to go through something like this ever again.

"I dont know (y/n)"

To be honest, you didn't know what answer to expect, but it surely wasn't this.

So was all of this for nothing again?

"It's complicated" he wanted to explain everything, he wanted to tell you everything, he really did. But he knew it would only cause more trouble since it was probably already too late for an explanation or an apology.

"Is it because of her?" You bluntly asked him, not knowing if you wanted to know the truth. You both stared into the night sky, sitting next to each other.

After all, he just told you that Desiree is his ex, you guys never talked about it again the past few weeks. You didn't know what was really going on, you didn't know why she is known as his crazy ex or what really happened between them.

Once again, Silence.

"You still love her, don't you, Rin?"

Please don't..

"I-"

Please don't say it, please

"I'm sorry" he said closing his eyes, screaming inside.

You felt a single tear dropping down from your eyes down your cheek. You sure didn't expect the conversation to change to this when Suna asked you to hang out tonight to watch the stars

I shouldn't have asked

You slowly got up and decided to go home, it wouldn't get any better if you stayed anyways

"Wait-" he grabbed your arm softly "please, im sorry".

He seemed like he genuinely meant it, you have never seen him like this. He wasn't very affectionate around others, which wasn't something new to you. But he was hurting and you saw that, but it wasn't only him that was suffering in that moment.

"No, don't be sorry. I shouldn't have asked." You got out of his grip and took your bag, "I should've seen it coming" you gave him a fake smile and walked away, holding back your sobs.

It was too good to be true anyways

Suna just sat there, watching you slowly walk away.

He wanted to run after you and tell you those three words he wanted to say all along, but he couldn't move. Something stopped him and he didn't know what or why he isn't doing anything.

It was the same all over again, you tried to ignore him because you thought it was for the better. But this time it was even harder. The last few weeks he showed you so much love and gave you hope, but for what? For him still not being over his ex?

All of those sweet things he did, the words he told you, the dates he took you on, for nothing?

—

For the rest of the day you just tried to distract yourself. You ignored everyone. You were isolating yourself from others, mostly listening to music or scrolling through your phone, not responding to any messages or answering any call.

Though you were curios if Suna reached out to you, secretly hoping he did so you checked your notifications

2 missed calls: Michi

Nothing. Not even a text from him. Only Michi tried to contact you. Since it was already late you just decided to go to sleep.

But you couldn't, your thoughts were haunting you and wouldn't let you get any peace.

Why am I not good enough?

I thought it would work out this time.

Why?

Why

Why cant I be good enough

It was until you heard a knock on your front door. You didn't want to open it, the only one it could be, was your mums abusive boyfriend, but he had a key. Why would he knock?

The knocking continued, you were hoping that your mum was opening the door but she was probably already asleep so you decided to answer the door, not caring if it was that abusive bastard.

But it was someone else you didn't expect to show up.

"Suna?"

He had a serious yet sad face, his eyes were a bit puffy.

Has he been crying?

"What are you doing here? It's almost midnight" you quietly spoke, trying not to be too loud. You didn't want your mother to know that he is here.

"(Y/n) im sorry, we need to talk, please".